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The Big Bang Theory - The Neonatal Nomenclature - Review: "A Child is Born"

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Hey friends! Long time no see! I hope you had a fabulous February, and are pumped and ready to go as we gear up to finish off this season with a bang. A big bang, because this week we welcome Baby Wolowitz #2! Woohoo! Everyone channel your lamaze breathing - whatever that means. I watch way too many labour and delivery reality shows to not know that definition. I'm ashamed of myself.

Bernadette abruptly wakes up in the night, announcing that it's time. Although, her water hasn't broken and she's not feeling any contractions. It's simply just her due date.

Howard reminds his beloved that babies are born after their due dates all the time - which isn't music to her ears. He tries to lighten the mood by saying that boys don't take as long to get ready as girls, so baby boy shouldn't be as late as Halley.

Poor mama. There is NO way she is going to leave this up to her body's timing. Bernie tells her husband to go back to sleep, to which he complies. Until, that is, she mentions that sex has been known to induce labour.

That sure woke him up!

The guys are eating lunch in the cafeteria as Sheldon announces that it's Bernadette's due date. Howard asks how he remembered... he's clearly been so busy trying to induce labour in his wife that he's forgotten never to ask questions. Well, since he asked, Sheldon knows it's been 40 weeks since Bernie's last period.

He's just interested in his friends lives, is all.

Besides that, Howard says the doctor is predicting it could be another week or two before the baby arrives, to which Raj asks how Bernadette's handling things.

It's been hard. They've had to engage in lots and lots of physical activity. Sheldon chimes in that his grand coitus total has reached four. Leonard settles his pal's ego down by reminding him that that's not bragging.

In his defence, 10-years ago Sheldon wouldn't believe it for a second. Amy walks up to the guys, and Sheldon says they were just speaking of her. She doesn't want to know, though, Leonard adds. Amy asks if Howard has finished up mechanical drawings for their grant proposal. He says he's been busy with Bernadette. She's confused - Sheldon gives her a hint: they were doing something they've done four times. Amy knows - LA LA LAND! Sheldon vehemently denies that he's ever seen La La Land.

Would you look at that, Sheldon is a closeted musical lover! I think he should watch Mamma Mia!. That storyline would blow his mind. Three dads, and no clue who Sophie's father is. I bet he'd jump onstage and give her a homemade DNA test right then and there. The other guys offer to hang out with Bernie so that Howard can stay late and work with Amy.

Penny shows up at the Wolowitz residence looking for Bernie.

Turns out bed rest has become stair rest. Penny helps her down, and en route takes up Bernadette's sarcastic ask of putting on rubber gloves and pulling the baby out. That's what friends are for... right?

Penny suggests the two try some yoga techniques her instructor did while pregnant. They're about to start, when Bernadette becomes fixated on Penny's flat stomach. She tells the 'bitch' to put on some more clothes.

OK. Take two. Bend down...

And... up? Looks like Bernie's stuck. Penny to the rescue!

Because in 2018, photographing a difficult moment is better than fixing it.

Raj offers to find the pressure points in Bernie's feet, but she warns him that her feet are a little swollen. He's not worried.

Make that wasn't worried. Her feet look like crescent rolls.

Leonard suggests that Bernie may not be mentally ready to give birth, delaying labour.

He backs away slowly, but not before commenting on her crescent roll feet. I think i've only ever eaten crescent rolls a couple of times in my life - but now I may never try one again.

Finally, Sheldon shows up. No, he's not there to try and get Bernadette to go into labour; he simply wants to hang out. And play the world's most complicated game.

Bernie lets him in, but offers to buy baby boy a pony if he comes out now. Sadly, he's just too dang comfortable in there and she's left to play with Sheldon.

Meanwhile, at the lab, Howard is busy drawing Back to the Future diagrams.

Dude looks worn out. Amy understands that he can't be there when they do their presentation - he has to be with Michael. Howard's confused. Amy's confused that he doesn't know that's the name of his unborn son.

Howard's now frustrated as Michael's the name of Bernie's dad, and he's made it clear he doesn't want that to be his name. He adds that they were going to wait until the baby's born and see what he looks like before choosing, to which Amy replies that both a newborn and Bernadette's dad have many striking similarities - including wrinkles and baldness. Can't argue those facts.

Back at Casa De La Wolowitz, Sheldon has set up the game.

Bernie looks overjoyed. After spending two minutes simply rolling the dice that will determine the weather, Howard and Raj arrive and Howie wants answers on Amy's 'Michael' comment. She can't talk right now - she's 1/1000th into the game!

She finessed her way out of that situation real quick. Except, I think i'd rather face Howard than play with Sheldon for 5-8 weeks. To each their own.

Howard walks into the kitchen arguing with Bernadette, who is still hundreds of steps behind him given her current state. The two take a seat, and Howard says he doesn't want to name the baby Michael. Bernadette reveals that her father is dying. Howard is rendered speechless.

Eventually. He's dying eventually. Howard announces that as they both made the baby, the name should be a collective decision. Bernadette agrees.

Except for the part where it's her body that's gone through everything, including an impending labour and delivery. Howard still sees it as 50/50. And with that, I think Michael has been removed from the drawing board. Time to pick another name out of the hat of endless options. This should be fun.

In the other room, Amy tells Sheldon they should go as she got Bernadette in trouble. Sheldon wants to stay and play. Raj, Penny and Leonard walk in with Chinese food, and Amy's confused. Turns out Sheldon texted them to come as the game is more fun with 5-10 players.

Lucky them!

Howard and Bernie are still in the kitchen, indecisive as ever. Every name Howard suggests is the name of one of Bernadette's ex-boyfriends. Whoa, who would've thought that's how Bernie spent her college years? Sheldon walks in, asking her to come and play. They're busy. He then comments that she's being rude given everyone came to play with them. Howard and Bernie are at a loss.

Everyone's now sitting in the living room as Sheldon continues the game. They're taking turns suggesting names - Paul, Sherman... Ozymandias...

Any guesses on who suggested that last one? Sheldon just wants to continue his game, and Penny waves her white flag of surrender. It seems like on the baby name front, everyone's sorely losing. Oh snap - Bernadette feels a contraction! Sheldon's curious as to if her mucus plug has popped out yet.

Alrighty. Howard asks if she's had another contraction, to which Bernie isn't sure. She just wants to get away in fear of Sheldon saying mucus plug again. Fair point. Howard tells the group to stay there and watch Halley. It's time, friends! It's really time!

Bernie and Howard are en route to the hospital as she continues having contractions. Howard says he's pumped and ready - not for the part where during the labour Bernadette squeezes his hand until it turns blue, though.

What a painful experience that must be for him. He shuts up. Once the contraction passes, Bernadette apologizes about the name debacle. The two agree that regardless of his name, their son will be amazing - and as miraculous as Hanukkah if he reaches 5'6. Awwe! And so true. I'm buying a lottery ticket if that happens.

At Bernadette and Howard's, the gang is still brainstorming baby names. Leonard suggests Elliott. Amy says they can't, as that's a name she wants. Leonard says he likes the name for him and Penny's baby. Wow - looks like there could be a whole baby colony in the works. Penny wants to know when Leonard picked out their babies' names. Around the time she moved into the building.

Not creepy at all.

Sheldon too likes the name Elliott, and says he gave Howard and Bernie bad names options to save the good ones for them. Amy's surprised Sheldon's thought about children - actually, he thinks they'll have brilliant ones. In that case, I hope they're 92% Amy. The other 8% can be obsessed over where they sit on couches and what nights of the week they eat certain ethnic foods. Raj asks how many they'll have, and at the same time Amy and Sheldon say 2 and 15, respectively.

Remember when I said baby colony? Make that baby planet. The two look at Penny as a possible surrogate for some of their 15, to which both her and Leonard, still in shock, reject. This sure took a turn. Although, I think Mary Cooper would be elated to hear that her baby boy wants as many children as the Lord will give him. Maybe she can link him up with the Duggars for some pointers.

Finally, Raj FaceTimes Howard to see how things are going. Turns out the baby was born an hour ago! Raj wants to know why he wasn't told sooner. Howard replies that he only would've felt the need to call him right away if the baby came out brown. I mean... it would've been cool to see a The Big Bang Theory and Maury crossover, but we'll survive. The baby's name is Neil Michael Wolowitz - Neil after Armstrong, Gaiman and Diamond - and Michael after Bernie's father. He gave in as the baby's head is the size of a cantaloupe. Bernadette is a champ.

And with that, a child was born! I do wish the birth would've been a touch more climactic in terms of the gang finding out, but i'm excited to see how the dynamic will change now that the Wolowitz clan has expanded to four. Now comes the real question - who's going to tell Sheldon that he has to pack up his game from hell (literally and figuratively) and take it elsewhere? Whoever it is, my thoughts are with them.

Down below, let me know what you think of Baby Wolowitz's name, what your reaction was to Sheldon proclaiming that he wants 15 children, and which couple you think is next to have a baby!

Catch The Big Bang Theory Thursday Nights on CBS.

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