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American Housewife - Blondtourage - Review: "High Quality, Non-Sucky Human Beings"

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Westport corrupts kids. Or at least, that seems to be the case for two of the Otto children this week. Taylor's ditching her nerdy friend Ellen (aka "a hot girl's parent's dream. There is no way Taylor is getting pregnant hanging out with her!") in order to hang out with her popular friends, whom Katie's nicknamed the Blondtourage ("They're too young to just call them bitches.") And Oliver's desperate for a $480 pair of sneakers that Cooper's convinced him he needs. (I almost fell over at that price too!)

Meanwhile, Katie's only non-corrupted child, Anna-Kat, is showing some independence. She no longer wants Katie to walk her into school, much to Katie's horror. With two corrupted kids and her baby growing up, Katie gets to work. She allows Taylor to re-dye her hair blonde, but only if she doesn't ditch Ellen's Scrabble party in favor of hanging out with the Blondtourage. She allows Oliver to buy the sneakers, on the condition he earns the money himself. Oh, and she starts hiding natural disaster books under Anna-Kat's pillow to scare her into still needing her mom.

Predictably, none of these plans work out. Taylor and Oliver team up to work the system. "For a small fee," Oliver and Cooper take all of the Blondtourage's cell phones and sit in Ellen's backyard playhouse, so the GPS trackers will show that the girls are at world's most "parent-friendly location," and so someone can respond to the parent's texts checking up on their kids. Katie and Greg discover this scheme when Ellen shows up with chicken noodle soup for an apparently "sick" Taylor, who they think is at Ellen's house. ("The secret ingredient is friendship!")

It turns out Taylor and the Blondtourage are at an illegal warehouse party. After being found and busted, Greg and Katie ground Taylor and have her apologize to Ellen, who, understandably, doesn't except. As for Oliver, Katie and Greg inform him that they don't want him to "be a materialistic jerk," so they take the money he made on the scam. Finally, Greg confronts Katie about trying to scare Anna-Kat into still needing her. Katie admits that her little plan was a bit off the walls and Greg assures her that Anna-Kat will still need her going forward, just in a different way.

Random Thoughts:
-Best quote goes to Katie's threat. "Say it and die, Cooper."

-On that note, I busted out laughing at Katie's punishment for Cooper. "Go home and no scepters for a month!"

-Zola, London, and Summitt? Oh, my!

-"If Dorothy would have just held on to Auntie Em's hand, all of that mess could have been avoided." You don't say, Katie?

-The ham hiding?? I'm dying to know the story behind that!

Were you surprised by Taylor and Oliver's actions? Do you think Anna-Kat is really starting to gain independence? Let me know below!

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