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2 Broke Girls - And the Crime Ring - Review: "No... No... Oh God No!"

4.11 - "And the Crime Ring"
Directed by Dan Scardino
Written by Morgan Murphy
Reviewed by Gavin Hetherington

Season Guide

Click on an episode title to be taken to my review of the episode.

4.01 - "And the Reality Problem" (October 27, 2014)
4.02 - "And the DJ Face" (November 3, 2014)
4.03 - "And the Childhood Not Included" (November 10, 2014)
4.04 - "And the Old Bike Yarn" (November 17, 2014)
4.05 - "And the Brand Job" (November 24, 2014)
4.06 - "And the Model Apartment" (December 8, 2014)
4.07 - "And the Loan for Christmas" (December 15, 2014)
4.08 - "And the Fun Factory" (January 5, 2015)
4.09 - "And the Past and the Furious" (January 19, 2015)
4.10 - "And the Move-In Meltdown" (February 2, 2015)
4.11 - "And the Crime Ring" (February 9, 2015)
4.12 - "And the Knock-Off Knockout" (February 16, 2015)
4.13 - "And the Great Unwashed" (February 23, 2015)
4.14 - "And the Cupcake Captives" (March 9, 2015)
4.15 - "And the Fat Cat" (March 23, 2015)
4.16 - "And the Zero Tolerance" (March 30, 2015)
4.17 - "And the High Hook-Up" (April 13, 2015)
4.18 - "And the Taste Test" (April 20, 2015)
4.19 - "And the Look of the Irish" (April 27, 2015)
4.20 - "And the Minor Problem" (May 4, 2015)
4.21 - "And the Grate Expectations" (May 11, 2015)
4.22 - "And the Disappointing Unit" (May 18, 2015)

'And the Crime Ring' Recap and Commentary

In the diner, a few customers are smoking e-cigarettes. Max has to tell them they can't smoke them in the diner. In the cupcake shop, Max and Caroline sort through their orders of the cupcake T-shirts when Sophie arrives at the window. When she says about wearing her Sunday bra, I'm positive Jennifer Coolidge begins to laugh too before the shot cuts to Max. I love it when we see actors do that. She and Oleg are looking at churches to be married in. After Caroline's "pity party", Sophie asks Max to be her Maid of Honour, but Max would rather be eaten alive by a rabbit. Max explains she's all Maid of Honour-ed out and Sophie thinks she could ask one of her old friends. Sophie leaves and the girls wonder what to do with the shirts. Max has a great idea - drunk and stupid are their target audience, deciding to go to a bar to sell them. "Yeah, we're there" Caroline says. Haha.

At a futuristic-looking bar, Max and Caroline put their plan into action. The first person they ask happens to be gay, and even the "cream filled" on the back doesn't entice them. I have to admit, their saleswomanship is pretty amazing, I'd definitely buy one. A Jesus-resembling man comes up to the girls and starts flirting with Caroline, leading Max to deliver some funny Jesus-type jokes. Drinks are on him and he asks to kiss Caroline. Bless her, she's not had any male attention in such a long time she just lets him. She doesn't know his name, unless it really is Jesus, but she kisses him anyway. To be fair, I'm not judging. I'd do the same. We learn his name is James (close to Jesus) and Caroline responds with "I'm wet." Hahahaha. I couldn't stop laughing at that. I had to pause the episode and finish laughing before I could continue. Max offers to leave so Caroline can stay with James and "do her thing".

The next day Max has started her shift and Earl wonders where Caroline is. Caroline comes in glowing and tells Max that it was a hot night. They scream in joy and Han comes in wondering what they're celebrating. He knows it isn't a job well done, haha. Max tells him it's because the new trailer for Star Wars Episode 7 was released online, fooling him so he'd go check. They go into the kitchen to talk about it and get Oleg to go elsewhere. After Caroline told Max that they did "everything", Max whispers in her ear and Caroline hasn't done any of them. Her reactions are priceless and I really want to know what Max was whispering. Caroline reveals they had sex last night and that day. She realises she left her rings at his place but doesn't want to text first to get them back. Max tells her to wait two weeks so she can break in and get her rings back.

Two weeks later, Max and Caroline jump over into James's balcony. Max opens the window but it only goes up so far and her boobs won't fit through there. Damn having big boobies! Caroline gets halfway through when she sees that it's not the right apartment. When a dog comes in, she asks Max to pull her out. She mentions her book for the second time this episode and I had no idea she wrote a book. She probably didn't, that's her kind of humour, but still if it has a whole chapter on pulling out I'd like to read it. Anything written by Max is sure to be gold. We hear a voice and Max still hasn't pulled Caroline back through (I think she likes this too much). A woman comes in and shouts at Caroline and starts hitting her on the head with a newspaper, telling her there's no drugs there. I'm guessing she has this people-breaking-in problem a lot. Once they hear sirens, Max tries to leg it over the wall, leaving Caroline in the window, but then returns to her when she can't get over. I laughed my ass off during this part.

At the police station, Max gets her fingerprints taken while Caroline gets photographed. Yet another hilarious moment with Caroline in this episode when she strikes a pose while getting the photograph taken. "And turn to the side" and she does a real model turn and hair flip and hand against the wall pose. She's a professional model and it works in her favour here. To me, this is Caroline's best moment this season. This police officer woman is hilarious as well, she asks about the text and it leads to the explanation of the "two week rule". It's all going to be sorted as it's apparently an actual thing, which I did not know, and it seems like all is well until Caroline panicks and runs out of the room. Max runs after her but they're both brought back in.

The police officer takes Max and Caroline to the holding cell until someone can bail them out. They go inside and Caroline is scared and Max sorts it out by claiming Caroline, saying she's already her bitch. A tatooed woman named Tania comes up to them and asks, very nicely, if the girls are signing up for the talent show. Caroline feels less scared and Max phones Sophie to get her to bail them out of jail. Sophie plays coy and doesn't know if she can, echoing Max's words when she refused to be her Maid of Honour. Max reluctantly agrees to the job, leading them to discuss getting penis-shaped things. Sophie agrees to come to Max's and Caroline's rescue.

In the holding cell, a woman is showing a trick with a card and asks Caroline if that was her card. Caroline says no, but she sees their reaction so she lies and says it was. Max rejoins Caroline and tells her Sophie is coming once her turkey is out of the oven. Later, Max and Caroline return to the diner where they reveal they have to do thiry hours of community service and Caroline won the talent show, winning privacy on the toilet. Caroline missed the place and is glad she lived a little. We see the cupcake total has went down $10,000 too which is a huge shame considering that was all of their loan. Two steps forward, twenty steps back.

Cupcake Total: $3,395.00 (down from $13,395.00)

Funniest Quotes

Max: It's like I'm back in my mother's womb!

Earl: If I wanted to learn everything all over again, I would have had a stroke.

Customer: Relax, it's not a cigarette. It has a battery.
Max: Yeah well so does my vibrator but you can't use that in here either.

Sophie: And it's gotta have a wheelchair ramp 'cause I got a lot of cousins who are born without leg bones.

Caroline: And Sophie, you don't really want me to be your Maid of Honour.
Sophie: That's right, I don't. So why we even talking about it?

Sophie: You just do it because you're supposed to. Like bleaching your teeth or your anus.

Caroline: Maybe we'll be lucky and find a gay little league team.

Max: Wow, gays aren't fun in the future.
James: Hey.
Max: And Jesus comes back in the future!

Max: (To James) You weren't nearly this hot in the book.
James: Can I get you two girls a drink?
Max: Sure if you can turn this water into wine.

James: I'm James.
Caroline: I'm wet... I mean because my arm is resting on water on the bar.

Max: Look Caroline, I haven't read the Bible, but I know when Jesus returns you must follow him... back to his apartment.

Han: What are you two celebrating? I know it isn't a job well done!

Caroline: Oleg, could you give us a minute?
Oleg: What? I can't be in the ladies' room, I can't be in the kitchen!

Max: So, did you... (whispers in Caroline's ear)
Caroline: No...
Max: Well, did you... (whispers in Caroline's ear)
Caroline: No!
Max: Well did you at least... (whispers in Caroline's ear)
Caroline: OH GOD NO!
Max: Well what did you do? Water a plant together?

Max: Jump, whore, jump... sound like my mum teaching me how to swim.

Caroline: Alright, I'm going in. Finally having no boobs pays off.

Max: You gotta read my book, I got a whole chapter about pulling out.

Caroline: Someone's coming!
Max: Someone's coming, you're getting licked... maybe this is the right apartment.

Caroline: I can't believe this is happening to me, my life is over!
Police woman: Look at the camera.
(Caroline strikes a pose in front of the height chart)
Caroline: I'm so humiliated.
Police woman: And turn to the side.
(Caroline turns like a model and flicks her hair, hand against the chart)
Police woman: Ma'am, this isn't Vogue behind bars.

Police woman: So, you girls broke into an old ladies' house, got half-way through the window and stole absolutely nothing. Glad I'm protecting the city from you... I mean, ISIS who right?

Police woman: I left my Billy club at the captain's house, he's got three more days!

Caroline: Fifty women, one toilet? It's like backstage at The View.

Sophie: Watch your back! Oh wait, it's a ladies' prison so watch your front!

Han: Look who's back from the Big House!
Max: Every house is a big house for you Han.

Episode Verdict

Well, this was yet another hilarious episode of 2 Broke Girls this season. Much like the episode preceeding this one, there were a lot of laugh-out-loud moments and memories us fans can cherish. Usually Caroline is the comedy's "straight-man" where she acts more serious around the shenanigans that go on around her and she has her sitcom moments, but in this episode she was funnier than she has been of late. Her "I'm wet" line had my stomach hurting and then her poses when getting photographed at the police station had me on the floor. I always think Sophie steals the show, or Max, but in this episode Caroline hit the nail on the head and this really made her shine. Oleg was under-used, and even Han, but that's okay because they had a lot to do the past few weeks and it's nice to have this focus on Max and Caroline as always. The show has been on a roll this year so far (with the only exception being And the Past and the Furious which I wasn't the biggest fan of) so I am hoping this streak continues.

What did you guys think of 'And the Crime Ring'? Let me know in the comments and be sure to watch the next new episode of 2 Broke Girls on February 16th on CBS!

About the Author - Gavin Hetherington
Award-winning author of 'Abyssal Sanctuary: Remnants of the Damned'. Gavin joined SpoilerTV on August 9, 2014 and will be reviewing 2 Broke Girls, Mistresses, Orange is the New Black, Pretty Little Liars, Salem and Sleepy Hollow in the 2014-15 season. Gavin's favourite shows include Charmed, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Desperate Housewives, The Walking Dead, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, Scandal and much more. You can contact him at
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