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The White Lotus - 2.05 - That's Amore - Review

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I'm starting to run out of ways of avoiding repetition as to how I feel about this show, so this review is going to take a slightly different format.

10 Thoughts I had While Watching The White Lotus' 'That's Amore'

- I'm not sure if we're supposed to root for Albie's "let me fall in love with a sex worker because she's a real person too" stance, but him basically dating her, in public is just... so weird. Is he doing it to piss off his dad? Is it genuine? I can't tell if Albie's entire persona is completely fake or completely naive. Either way, not appealing.

- Dominic is far from thrilled by Albie's newfound true love, while Bert mostly finds it amusing. What Dominic doesn't find amusing though: the example Bert gave him while he was growing up, and which he believes is at least partly responsible for his own issues with his wife.

- Harper is one glass of Etna-based wine away from snapping and telling Daphne that Cameron had sex with the afore-mentioned sex workers, with Ethan in the room.

- HOWEVER, Harper and Cameron are also sending off weirdly reciprocal vibes. After all, Ethan said it himself: Cameron has never met someone Ethan liked and not slept with her. Harper would be the ultimate challenge, wouldn't she?

- And Harper seems more than up for it. She isn't particularly enthused with her own marriage right now, she states that Ethan prefers his porn and she can't compete, and his defense when they finally talked about *that* night was not great at all, Bob.

- You know who else's vibes are super weird? Daphne's. What was that scene where she talked about her hot, hot trainer who has blue eyes and then allegedly mistakenly showed Harper a picture of her kids? Is she implying that one of those isn't Cameron's or something?
- "Do you have any cute things?" Tanya, voicing everything I've ever thought about Portia's capsule wardrobe. She does have cute things (and necklaces, the dino one was back, now joined by a lil butterfly friend!) but she ruins them with horrific outfit-shoewear pairings. Some items are just plain horrific though, shoes or no shoes. Those... pants with that "top" (it can't be "cropped" if there's no middle, right?) were definitely Top 5.

- Little does Portia know, her new fling not only isn't exclusive, but he's also apparently into men, and more specifically into incest. Or maybe Tanya's little group has been lying and Leo isn't actually the nephew but some kind of companion? I regret saying Portia was winning the hook up war last episode, this definitely is not winning.

- Valentina is also making very questionable choices. Listen, we've all done things we shouldn't have because of a crush, it happens to the best of us! But buying an employee jewelry and exiling a potential rival to another post isn't only extreme, it's just terrible management. This is why you don't date in the office (been there, done that, never ends well)!

- Worse even, she agrees to Mia's singing deal, in exchange of which Mia will spend some quality time with her. How much dodgier can this get?!

Only two episodes left, still no idea who ended up floating in those translucent waters. Give us your best guesses in the comments!

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