SpoilerTV - TV Spoilers

Quote of the Week - Week of November 8th

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.


B Positive - 
1. Gideon: "Sessions are three hours, three days a week. The dialysis machine works just like your kidneys: it filters your blood, puts it back into your body. I usually make a joke here to lighten the mood, but you were late and I can't reward that."
2. Drew: "Sorry about your mom." Sam: "What?" Drew: "The chemo." Sam: "Oh, no. My mother's fine. She's dating a guy younger than me. I just can't let work know I'm sick. That'll get you fired faster than being pregnant."
3. Eli: "I would take a kidney from Hannibal Lecter if he was offering. You know, assuming it wasn't chewed on." Sam: "Ayatollah Khoneini, hand it over." Jerry: "Mother Teresa, give it." Sam: "How is she a terrible person?" Jerry: "Did not see the pattern." (Folie-lex)
4. Jerry: “You, uh, carry a lot of tension in your jaw.” Drew: “Oh, I assure you, it’s everywhere.”
5. Sam: “Gideon, can I skip out early? I’ve got a meeting at 10.” Gideon: “Is it with God? You keep skipping out on dialysis, that’s the only meeting you’re going to.”
6. Drew: “Uh, Gina, we haven’t seen each other since high school. We barely know each other. I just want to make sure that you’re really committed to doing this.” Gina: “I gave you my word, and where I come from that’s the only thing a person has to give...except for, you know, money or sex.” (Dahne)

NCIS: Los Angeles - 
1. Arkady: “Training for triathlon.” Kensi: “Really? What are your events? Drinking, gambling, and smoking?”
2. Callen, after a Navy SEAL explains the domino effect to a rogue Russian plane that ends with China taking over the world: “You should be writing children’s books.” Sam: “He’s not wrong.” Callen: “But bloody depressing.”
3. Nell: “So sorry. All I got were the names. Even those cost us a fortune. I’m just praying that they’re legit or else Hetty’s gonna be royally pissed.” Callen: “Well, don’t worry. Hetty’s not gonna fire you on your first day back.” Nell: “Oh, I don’t care if she fires me. I just don’t want her to kill me. Good luck, friend.” (Dahne)

NCIS: New Orleans -

1. Loretta, on the shortages in the morgue due to COVID: “I’m looking for anything you can spare - body bags, cleaning supplies, personnel. No, I know you’re busy there, too. Look, I’ll take anything you’ve got...except bodies.”
2. Loretta: “Hold on. Here. Take these.” Roger: “I’ll take one.” Loretta: “No, take them all, Roger. You’re on the front lines.” Roger: “Very nice of you. Can I get a hug?” Loretta: “How about a polite nod at 6 feet?” Roger: “We’ve both been through Katrina and came out on the other side. We can survive this too.”
3. Sebastian: “I’m all out of seasick patches and I’m terrified to go into any pharmacy right now...or anywhere. I sound really paranoid, right?” Pride: “Actually, you sound less paranoid than normal, considering what’s been on the news. You need to be prepared.” (Dahne) 
 
Superstore - 
1. Cheyenne: "Damn, he's good!" Dina: "Oh, he's just campaigning. You could do that! Just play politics. Say good things about yourself, say bad things about Jonah, make some promises..." Cheyenne: "Yeah, but if I promise things, won't I have to do those things once I'm elected?" Dina: "God, no." Cheyenne: "Why not?" Dina: "No one knows, you just don't. America rules!"
2. Garrett: "I've been in love before." Sandra: "Oh, no. I mean, like, with a real woman. Not, like, with 'Tomb Raider.'"
3. [Dina and Cheyenne trying to convince everyone Johan is lying about being a feminist because he's been to Hooters] Jonah: "I'm a feminist! Okay? And I don't even like wings, I ordered the caprese salad!" Dina: "Hooters had a caprese salad on the menu?" Jonah: "They... made it special for me." [everyone reacts with disgust] Cheyenne: "The worst part of the story."

The Unicorn -

1. Wade [re: Natalie wanting to get her ears pierced]: "Well, I'm sorry, but your mom made Grace till she was 13." Natalie: "I am 13... if you round up." Wade: "Okay. Alright, if you're so mature lets make a deal: you want your ears pierced, restain the backyard fence." Natalie: "I can't do that! I'm only 12!"
2. Addie: "Dad can I get my ears pierced? Pleeeease?" Forrest: "Sure." Addie: "Oh... um... do I have to?" Forrest: "No." Addie: "Thank you." (Folie-lex)
3. Michelle: “Don’t think of it as giving up. Maybe be a little more open-minded. There are a lot of fantastic women in Raleigh who are not driving around in cemeteries with skunks in their cars.” Wade: “Michelle, that’s a great idea. I should focus on finding her car.” Michelle: “Nope. Not even kind of what I meant.” (Folie-lex and Dahne)
4. Delia: “I guess it would have been better if you never found out what that sticker meant.” Forrest: “Hey, come on, don’t shoot the messenger.” Delia: “We didn’t want a messenger. We were trying to hide the message.”
5. Wade: “...a baby blue Volvo wagon. I mean, come on, how many of those could there be in this town?” Forrest: “Literally thousands.” Wade: “Yes, but this one was old. It’s probably in the shop all the time. I mean, how many mechanics can there be in this town?” Ben: “Literally hundreds.” Wade: “See, we’re closing in.” (Dahne)
 
Young Sheldon -

1. Sheldon: "The train museum is looking for a docent." Mary: "What's a docent?" Sheldon: "It's a person in a museum who gives information on the exhibits." Mary: "Do you think they'd le someone your age do that?" Sheldon: "Why not? I have a high school diploma." Mary: "True." Sheldon: "I know more about trains than anybody." Mary: "True." Sheldon: "And I have the unique ability to wear people down until I get my way." Mary: "So true."
2. Missy: "We need to stop so I can pee." George: "I told you to pee before we left the house." Missy: "That was an hour and a half ago." George: "Can't you hold it?" Missy: "I may spit like a man, but I have the bladded of a little girl."
3. Georgie: "Why are you watching Road House?" Mary: "Why aren't you at work?" Georgie: "I asked you first and my question is way more interesting." (Folie-lex)


What Else We're Watching

Connecting - 1.01 - Pilot

1. Ben: “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” Annie: “Ben, it’s 2020. What? Are you trying to jinx us?” Annie: “I don’t know. Old music, old movies, old TV shows, it’s kind of the only thing soothing the anxiety.” (Dahne)
 

neXt - 1.02 - File #2
 
1. Ethan: "My mom told me about you." Paul: "Yeah?" Ethan:" You don’t look like a billionaire." Paul: "You don’t look like a school shooter. Quick tip: Never take advice from home electronics." Ethan: "She told me you were like this." Paul: "Like what?" Ethan: "I heard her tell dad you think your money lets you say anything you want." Paul: "That’s fair."
2. Paul [re Ethan]: "That kid is a badass." (Folie-lex)

Swamp Thing -
1. Sheriff: "Smells good." Remy: "Thought you might be coming round." Sheriff: "Why's that? You been breaking some laws?" Remy: "If I was any good at law breaking, would I be eatin' a rat?" (Prpleight)
 
Ugly Betty - 2.04 - Grin and Bear It

1. Wilhelmina: "Even if I wanted to express sympathy, I physically can't."
2. Professor Barrett: "Your story moved me so much I couldn’t bear to keep it to myself. And that’s not a pun. I never pun."



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