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Mom - Big Sad Eyes and an Antique Hot Dog - Review: "NyQuil, The Nighttime Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, so You Can Get High as a Kite Medicine."


On this week's Mom, the girls go to a sober retreat where they're forced to get a little too close for comfort.

On the road, it's obvious Marjorie's the only one excited about the weekend. "I wonder how many people have relapsed on one of these weekends?" Jill gripes, right before she nearly runs them off the road after finding out they'll all be sharing a communal bathroom. At a gas station stop, while Marjorie and Wendy are inside, the rest of the girls decide to rearrange the roommate assignments Marjorie gave out. They stick Marjorie and Wendy together, Tammy and Christy bunk up, as do Jill and Bonnie.

When they get to the retreat, Bonnie's impressed with the lodge accommodations. Jill, because she's Jill, is not. She even changes the bed-sheets to her own special ones. (Well, she tries to. Turns out Jill doesn't really understand how fitted sheets work. (Yeah, she probably should have "packed [her]

housekeeper!") While Bonnie's determined to use the weekend to finally start writing the book she's been talking about for years, Jill says she's going to stay cooped up in the bedroom to keep away from Tammy, who won't stop talking about a new van she wants for her contracting business. Jill's convinced that Tammy's going to ask her for money for it, as that's what everyone near her does when they want something new. "People have been hitting me up for loans since the 5th grade," she says. "5th grade? I was showing boys my bra-strap in exchange for their Doritos," responds Bonnie. Yes, those two have definitely led very different lives!

In Christy and Tammy's room, Christy bemoans the lack of men (She didn't know it was an all women's retreat!). Tammy complains about being a "van-less loser" and confesses to Christy that she's indeed thinking of asking Jill for a loan. In Marjorie and Jill's room, Marjorie grumbles about no-one ever listening to her advice while Wendy finds herself getting sicker and sicker until she hurls into her suitcase! Apparently that 59 cent hot-dog from the gas station is coming back with a vengeance!

In the communal bathroom, Christy's talking with her new friend Rebecca about how long they've each been sober when Wendy comes running into throw-up again. Back in her and Tammy's room, Christy finds that Marjorie has moved in to avoid a sick Wendy. Tired of Marjorie's mothering, Tammy goes to bunk with Jill and Bonnie.

In Bonnie and Jill's room, Bonnie's having trouble starting on her book (She doesn't even know what she's writing about.), when Tammy arrives. Scared Tammy's going to ask her for money, Jill tries to quickly move in with Christy and Marjorie, but Tammy gets the question out first. Jill tells her she's sorry, but she doesn't believe in lending money to friends.

Later, the gang treks through the woods to get to the sunset meeting, and unsurprisingly, gets very lost. Soon enough, Bonnie's making a "last words" video telling Adam she loves him and blaming Marjorie for their demise! Thankfully, the girls do survive! Later that night, (after Bonnie has tried  to bring a very unhappy Wendy some soup! - "I don't want it...I HAVE FOOD POISONING YOU MORON!"), Christy and Jill are trying to sleep when they overhear quite possibly the WORST THING EVER. Marjorie's making naughty phone calls to Wayne (and she's only wearing thick wool socks, in case you're wondering!) The two quickly move out of the room and agree to never speak about what they heard again. Christy goes to bunk with her new friend Rebecca and Jill rooms with a reluctant Wendy.

In their own room, Tammy and Bonnie discuss Jill not lending Tammy the money for the van. Bonnie tells Tammy she doesn't need Jill. She's a bad-ass sober woman and she can come up with the money herself. Tammy agrees that maybe she's right and in turn, gives Bonnie some advice of her own. Instead of trying to write about teenage zombie astronauts, maybe her book should be about her life. After all, she's a bad-ass sober woman too!

When Christy gets ready to go to bed, she gets yet another surprise. She finds out that her new friend Rebecca is interested in being more than friends. She climbs right into bed with her! So, yet again, Christy ends up going back to bunk with Bonnie.

In Wendy's room, Jill tries to take care of her, but Wendy isn't interested. Being sick reminds her too much of when she was still drinking, and people had to take care of her all the time because she was helpless. Jill understands. After all, she had her own suite at the ER!

The next morning, the girls get ready to leave. Marjorie's angry the weekend was a disaster. She admits she put so much pressure on the weekend being perfect because she wanted it to be something special for the rest of the girls. Christy runs into Rebecca again, who apologizes for misreading the signals. Christy says she understands. She was the one who showed up at her door in the middle of the night. Rebecca says goodbye and Christy heads out to the car. But then she runs back in - to plant one on Rebecca!

In the car, Jill tells Tammy that she'll lend her the money, but Tammy tells her she's decided she's going to get the money herself. Bonnie reveals that she's filled up a whole notebook since Tammy suggested she write about her life. She reads a section she's written about her childhood to them, and what-do-you, it looks like Bonnie might have finally found the perfect topic!

Random Thoughts:
-The best line goes to Bonnie, on the way to the retreat - "We're all in the car and it's moving too fast to jump!"

-I can't emphasize how loudly I laughed when Marjorie made her "adult phone call" to Wayne!

Do you think Bonnie will keep writing about her life? Will Tammy get her van? Let me know below!

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