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The Affair - Episode 5.03 - Review

10 Very Important Thoughts I Had During This Episode of The Affair

Sometimes, even in short episode-order shows, there are some installments that still feel like filler. Which is a shame, when every episode should count, but unfortunately still happens. The Affair remains entertaining and I will see it through till the end but in this third iteration of season 5, the loss of Alison and Cole feels more blatant than ever when the other dynamics aren't quite as riveting to watch play out.

1. "I try not to pay attention to reviews." Oh, Noah. Show me one author who truly doesn't do this (aside from the mega-established ones, obviously, who sell books regardless), and I especially doubt someone like Noah, who thrives on what people think of him, wouldn't check every single (positive) review. It's all well and good since The Descent was a success and is now being made into a movie anyway, what does he have to lose? Which makes me wonder if this also goes for TV, in that the show-runners will ignore how this season is received, especially since they know it's the last and get to end it on their terms.

2. Janelle has some kind of nerve calling Noah up for the first time in 3 months after basically disappearing and letting him figure out they had broken up, and to what end? Asking him to keep quiet because their relationship could jeopardize her running for the school board? Janelle has had a rough time, and I do hope the school stops blatantly pushing her around but even if Noah is far from blameless, this feels a little overkill.

3. Meanwhile, Whitney's pending wedding seems to be happening for reasons other than True Love, since her artiste boyfriend needs a green card. He also needs a reality check on what is appropriate behavior, because arriving late to dinner with your future father-in-law while covered in paint stains is not it.

3. Noah isn't exactly a role-model in that respect however, since he goes off the rails completely after finding out Helen is doing more than just a consulting job on Sasha's movie. I'm really curious as to why Sasha is supposed to be quite this enthralling, since I can't see the appeal. Semi-dating him does give her cool points with the kids though, so there's that.

4. Pushing an entirely (drunken) re-written scene the morning of the shoot is probably how authors lose their input on their adaptations. Getting banned from the set certainly is.

5. In fact, trying to prevent your ex-wife from hooking up with the director of the adaptation of your book by asking her to move back to the East Coast with you might be the most insane thing Noah has come up with so far, and he invented an entire, ghostly character in his mind a few seasons ago (yes, that did happen), so you know the bonkers-level is high.

6. Quite a few people seem intent on having Helen come back to the East Coast actually, did they forget how unhappy she was over there?! That said, at least Helen's mother has a legitimate reason: Bruce's dementia has been going on for a year and she needs her daughter's support. Moving the kids who are still in school back East after already disrupting their lives several times does not feel like a good idea though. Helen's comments about not having any money to help out her mother in these dire financial times (Bruce having given away all their money), have me wondering how, exactly, she's sustaining herself and her family. I assume the house belonged to Vic and he left it to her, but she doesn't seem to be working (minus the "consulting" job on the movie), and yet still seems to want for nothing.

7. Speaking of support, Sierra is (unsurprisingly, might I add) unraveling thanks too the hardships of new motherhood and Helen, who is forever trying to take care of everyone except herself, is a worthy savior.

8. On a more superficial note: those pink pants Sierra are wearing are GIGANTIC, and that bébé (pronounced with Moira from Schitt Creek's inflection), is, well, also gigantic. Isn't he only 3 months old?! DId I miss something? Are all those avocado/kale smoothies responsible for growth spurts in West Coast infants?

9. Meanwhile, 20 years in the future, Joanie is having worrying encounters. I really thought, after all this hoopla about having Joanie's futuristic POV included in the episodes that we would learn more about how she dealt with her upbringing and how Alison's life/death still loom over her.

10. Spoiler alert: we don't, since her part only lasted four (4!) minutes.

All in all, not the strongest episode, but entertaining nevertheless. Will the Descent movie end up being a completely different story than the book? Will Sierra's kid be a college graduate the next time we see him?
On a happier note, the beginning of the synopsis for the next episode reads as follows: "Noah, Margaret and Stacey bond over their mutual distaste for Sasha." and fills me with hope that I too, will be able to bond with them over our common Sasha-hating ground.

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