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Dynasty - Miserably Ungrateful Men - Review



In the latest “Dynasty,” Alexis, Cristal, and Fallon all have to deal with “Miserably Ungrateful Men,” and do so with soapy flair.

Let’s start with Alexis, who’s obviously faring the worst of the three. She wakes up in the hospital, alive thanks to Adam’s “expert first-aid response” and covered in bandages/unable to speak due to throat and lung tissue damage because Nicollette Sheridan’s already out of the opening credits. Adam easily convinces the family Alexis tripped into the fireplace after one too many drinks (Fallon and Blake’s blasé “Yeah, that checks out” attitude about the whole thing really tickled me), threatening Alexis into silence by promising to bust her about Hank if she tattles on him. I was surprised they left Alexis on-screen to convalesce, but her presence did add something to the episode, both comedically (Fallon basically using her mute mom to give herself a pep talk while Alexis frantically tried to chime in with a dry-erase board) and dramatically (her not being able to defend herself verbally, let alone physically, against Adam is pretty creepy). And the episode ends on her being wheeled off to surgery, with Adam making a suggestion about her facial reconstruction that startles the doctor. Given his comment earlier that Alexis looked like Fallon when she was younger, my current crackpot theory is that they’re gonna slap a blonde wig on Elizabeth Gillies and have her play Alexis too!

Alexis does get one visitor who’s actually concerned about her – Jeff Colby. This caught me by surprise because these two haven’t shared a scene all season, but Jeff helpfully reminds us that Alexis “looked out” for him and Monica last year, plus he’s still on that positivity kick. He offers to let Alexis recuperate at his place, a change of venue Adam quickly nixes with private threats and a public show of maternal love. But it’s clear Jeff has got Adam’s number already. I actually really liked this development. Sams Adegoke and Underwood have good rivalry chemistry, and this will hopefully pull Jeff into bigger stories instead of stranding him in subplots.


Sliding over to Cristal, she and her rad red pantsuit are startled to get a phone call from her brother Beto, who scolds her for not going to see their father. Cristal’s efforts to ignore this summons by hanging up on him are thwarted when Beto then barges through the front door of the Carrington manse. He presents an alternate request – that Cristal hire a particular player for the Carrington team, one she rightfully assumes is in their old man’s pocket. Still, she does her best to snow Culhane into making the hire, insisting that he’s just a family friend. But Culhane does enough research to figure out the Flores family’s game and, having learned his lesson from the Ada days, declines to sign him. So Cristal’s kinda screwed.

Lucky for her, Sam unknowingly comes to the rescue. When Cristal shoves Beto onto Sam to babysit, I immediately guessed it was going to turn out Beto’s gay. The show fakes us out at first with a scene of Beto dragging Sam to a strip club and spewing machismo, but my suspicions proved correct when Sam later walks in on him kissing another man. They end up having a nice talk about the pressures of family and needing an ally – Sam’s was Cristal 1.0, duh – and Sam suggests Beto not take all his anger and resentment out on his sister. Beto takes this advice to heart and tells Cristal he’ll cover for her. But, he warns, he won’t be able to stall their father forever. Something tells me we’ll be seeing Beto again, and probably in Sam’s bed, before the season is over.

Last but not least, Fallon. Remember that “day in the life” magazine profile she floundered through a few episodes ago? Well, it’s hit the newsstands, and it’s apparently so bad that it’s jeopardizing a naming rights deal she and Blake are trying to secure for the new stadium. Ordered by Blake to “make this right,” Fallon decides to combat this negative press by telling her story her way, with a book that’s “part self-help, part memoir, a strategy bible for young women to live by.” Her plan hits some snags early on. She struggles to secure a publisher and, once she does, the ghostwriter they assign to her only wants to ask her about personal scandals, not professional successes. But, as always, Fallon perseveres, reselling the publisher on her vision by producing an extremely detailed mockup, and then successfully using the book deal to convince the grumbly CEO of the value of being associated with the Carrington name. Unfortunately, the champagne of her triumph goes flat when she overhears the publisher talking about using her as an inroads to Blake.


So the timing couldn’t be worse when this week’s party – a celebration to officially welcome Adam into the Carrington family – culminates in a speech by Blake where he gushes all over his long-lost son and super-insensitively remarks that he’s always wanted to “work side-by-side with one of [his] children” (and sidebar – there’s a minor subplot where Adam, after Blake gets his medical license reinstated, schemes to get the team doctor fired so he can take his place. I do enjoy that, in Adam, we have a schemer who’s more of an antagonist). Fallon is justifiably furious, reading Blake for denying her respect just because she doesn’t have the “requisite hardware,” while Blake volleys back that she’s been handed every opportunity and didn’t deserve to run Carrington Atlantic. It’s another fight scene between these two characters that Gillies and Grant Show knock out of the park.

Sick of the titular shitty dudes, Fallon decides to do something about one of them and awesomely buys out the publishing house that was using her. She announces her plans to make it female-focused, even bringing Kirby along for the ride (and sidebar – I hope their new friendship isn’t derailed by whatever the show seems to be setting up with Kirbs and Culhane, as we got another brief, boring scene of them flirting). But there’s still one more man Fallon has to deal with when an author shows up asking to see her. It’s – dun! – Liam.

What did you think of this week’s “Dynasty?” Which of the “Miserably Ungrateful Men” in this episode was the worst? And who do you think will hit the sheets first – Fallon and Liam, Sam and Beto, or Kirby and Culhane? Share your thoughts on these questions and more in the comments section.

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