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Hawaii Five-0 - Na Keiki A Kalaihaohia - Review: "The Children of Kalaihaohia"

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You would be forgiven for tuning in and thinking that this episode might be finally cashing in on the waning zombie craze and making an episode about the walking dead. That’s certainly what the writers were going for when they show a bit of literal skullduggery in progress. Thankfully for our heroes, the dead aren’t rising from the grave. Someone just really needed something this specific corpse had and wasn’t afraid of killing the night watchman by burying him alive.

When Steve and Danny are called to the scene by Junior, they aren’t clear what the motive might be. Did someone have it out for the grave’s original occupant, Travis Hinkley, gentle of spirit? Or was this professional body snatching for profit, which Danny assures Junior is a lucrative career? Whichever it is, both Steve and Danny are happy to be working a case and not arguing some more about the latest restaurant mishap.

That mishap happens to be one of the other crimes committed on the island the night before. After someone forgot to lock up the restaurant, a thief stole a bunch of valuable construction equipment. Steve and Danny can barely take a break from arguing about whose fault it is to assign Officer Pua to the case. When Pua asks for an itemized list, Steve helpfully points out that it was a “whole bunch of stuff” and not getting insurance was merely a “calculated risk.” Danny isn’t too happy about that assessment.

Back on the case, Lou speculates the someone dug up Hinkley (who died of malaria contracted in west Africa) because they weren’t ready to let him go and are keeping him around Mrs. Bates style. Meanwhile, Steve and Danny think the grave-robbing is connected to a religious ritual. Jerry helpfully suggests that Hinkley may have been given away in a ghost marriage or ground up into zombie powder. Steve and Danny are skeptical of Jerry’s more out-there theories, but do decide to take his advice and find a santero who could be responsible.

The santero they track down is very quick to cite religious freedom for some of the unsavory items the team has found in his home. Animal sacrifice may be permitted, but Steve and Danny suspect Mr. Ravello did something more to Hinkley. However, their case moves in a different direction when they find his body, disemboweled.

Junior infers that this wasn’t Santeria at all but a case of someone looking for stolen merchandise. Hinkley may have been a mule for someone, and that someone got very upset when he died before he could deliver.

That someone is diamond smuggler Neil Voss, who recently spent time in west Africa and left his fingerprint at the crime scene. The team suspects that Hinkley was Voss’s partner in the crime, but are confused that Voss would be hanging around on the island instead of getting out of dodge.

Before they can follow up on it, Noelani calls them down to the morgue. She claims that Hinkley had his intestines cut open twice. Someone stole the diamonds before Voss could get to them.

That someone was the mortician who first operated on Hinkley. Noenlani's hunch proves to be correct when they find the mortician tied up at the mortuary. Voss has realized that the diamonds aren’t with the mortician, but back at his home. The team doesn’t have much time. Voss is holding the mortician’s wife hostage while he searches for the diamonds, and he’s hellbent on finding them.

Voss may be a scumbag, but to his credit he keeps the wife alive after he finds what he came for. However, he then immediately initiates a shootout with the police. The case is solved and the missing diamonds finally recovered, in the most gruesome fashion possible.

Meanwhile, stalwart Officer Pua is learning the ways of the island from Kamekona. If you want information about any fences, you have to treat yourself to a nice lunch.

Kamekona leads Pua to a shady pawnshop owner, who leads him to a struggling homeless family trying to rebuild after the wildfire. The buyers had no idea that the tools were stolen, and Pua can’t bring himself to take them back (probably because of that cute dog). He decides to lie to Steve and Danny about it, although they definitely would have been ok with letting someone in need have the tools. Although neither want to outright admit it, they both think they may be in over their heads with the whole restaurant thing, but can’t come up with a solution as of yet. Steve’s idea of just getting another loan seems like a plot point for another day.

After last week’s intense Lou-centric episode, this one seems a lot looser. That’s not to demean either type of writing style, but last week’s was much more deliberate. This one is breezy, even as it tackles some of the longer running plot threads.

The first of these is Adam’s new job as Honolulu’s Elliot Ness. Adam has been tasked with tracking down who killed all of Hawaii’s head crime bosses. He believes the answer lies with the local kingpin Hideki Tashiro. Adam needs an in with Hideki, but good CI’s are hard to come by. So, naturally Adam decides to recruit one of his own.

Jessie Nomura is fresh out of prison and not looking to risk her life by becoming Adam’s CI. She doesn’t care about his case, even if he does believe she’s the perfect person to get close to Hideki. Steve isn’t completely sure that Adam should be pouring all his resources into Hideki, but trusts his new team member to make it work.

Jessie isn’t the only one Adam’s keeping his eye on. He also volunteers to do Tani a favor and give Koa a job on his crew. Koa seems genuinely happy to turn over a new leaf. Tani doesn’t even have to give him a lecture. Unfortunately, that doesn’t last long. Adam soon finds Koa passed out and barely responsive.

Adam rushes him to Noelani. He suspects that Koa’s OD’ed, and he doesn’t want the cops involved. Noelani must get really sick of treating all of these strange injuries and illnesses that the team and their expansive network tend to pick up. It seems like every other week someone is shouting into their phone about how she’s closer/more discreet/better than a hospital.

Tani rushes to Koa’s side. He’s fine, but she’s heartbroken. He promises to get clean, but Tani doesn’t seem to take him too seriously. She’s too terrified of losing him to fully process what’s going on or make a plan yet.

Adam returns from the morgue to find Jessie sitting on his doorstep. Adam is honest with her about killing his brother, and Jessie decides to trust him. Adam’s found his CI, but time will tell whether it will be enough to take down whatever mastermind is pulling the strings.

What did you think of tonight’s episode? Let me know in the comments!

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