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American Housewife - The Lice Storm - Review: "Having Head Pets is the Best!"



Lice - arguably every parent's worst nightmare. Buckle up, because lice have come for the Otto family!

As the kids get ready to go to school, Katie bemoans the fact that Taylor is about to get her license and will soon be driving off "like that girl in the Subaru commercial." (I agree, it's a really sweet commercial!) It's then that Katie notices all three have forgotten to give her a note from the school. Be on the lookout, because lice is going around! Unfortunately, this note has been discovered a bit too late, as Anna-Kat's already hosting some uninvited visitors.

What follows is a hilarious storm of Katie frantically checking everyone for lice aka "the glitter of the bug world." As she deep-cleans just about every surface in the house, I couldn't help but be reminded of my family's one scare with lice, in which my mother ran around in a hilariously similar "chicken with her head cut off" kind of manner. (Like the Ottos, I don't think our washer had ever seen so much use!)

As Taylor, who along with Oliver and Greg has been deemed lice free, gets ready to flee to a friend's house, Katie desperately tries to get her to stay so they can have bonding time, giving her a speech about how the Otto family bands together under one roof in times of trouble. At this, Taylor goes to the window and motions to the backyard, where Greg can be seen waving like an idiot to them as he sets up a tent. So much for under one roof. In a spur of the moment, seriously bad decision, Katie throws the lice hat she'd put on Anna-Kat on Taylor so she'll have no choice but to stay home.

Katie and Greg discuss their parenting failures through the glass door separating the inside lice world from the outside lice free world. Katie's purposely given Taylor lice (Greg suggests maybe she "try giving her bed bugs" the next time!) and on Greg's watch, Oliver's gotten a job running errands for their newly paroled and now on house arrest criminal billionaire neighbor. Katie decides she's going to venture out of the house and seek advice from Angela and Doris and Greg decides to pay the new neighbor a visit and set some ground rules regarding Oliver.


Katie's attempt to get advice from Angela and Doris goes unanswered when Doris drops an unexpected (and unwelcome) surprise. Thanks to a night with a little too much Chardonnay, she's pregnant. And she only had eight more years until her youngest left for Princeton!

Greg's visit with the parolee neighbor also doesn't go as planned. Spencer the white collar criminal offers Greg money to let Oliver continue to work for him. At this, Greg more or less decides there's no reasoning with this guy.

Back at home, Katie tries to spend more time with Taylor, and Taylor lets her in on a pretty sad truth. The reason they haven't "bonded" is because all of Katie's time has been taken up with Anna-Kat, her issues surrounding OCD, and the extreme neediness she's been able to get away with as the youngest. Katie agrees Taylor's right and informs Anna-Kat that she's going to have to start being more independent. (This, unsurprisingly, backfires on Katie when Anna-Kat tries to ask for her help and Katie shrugs her off. Unfortunately, what Anna-Kat actually wanted her help with was what to do with the lice picked out of her hair. But since the lice need "a warm human host" to be kept alive, she just decides to dump them back onto her head!)

Random Thoughts:
-"Making breakfast for your kid with OCD is like the world's least fun game of Operation. As an OCDer myself, I can imagine this is true!

-Best quote goes to Taylor. "I'm already at a perfect height according to the quiz that I took on Buzzfeed!" (Buzzfeed says I'm short...)

-"I give up...on the question and possibly parenting." Yeah, if I had Oliver for a child I might too.

-The fact that Katie spent time following a Prince knockoff band that "owned the Panhandle" is both hilarious and honestly not that surprising.

- Lobster and a golf course? Prison must of been pretty rough on poor ole Spencer.

-"It's like a cell phone, only it does nothing!" Seriously, Oliver? I'm not even 10 years older then you and even I remember beepers!

-Katie and Greg touching hands and kissing through the glass door was sweet.

-"None of our kids are on drugs or have face tattoos. And we've never lost track of a child for more then two hours." I'd say that's a pretty good standard to justify your parenting ability by!

What do you think of the Ottos versus everyone's least favorite creepy crawlers? How is Doris going to take this news going forward? Is Oliver on the fast track to white-collar prison himself? Let me know below!








 
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