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Suits - Shame - Review: “He Sucked and I Was Awesome”

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Previously on Suits: Oh, wow! A flashback all the way back to an early episode in which Donna was forced to admit that she loved Harvey during a mock trial! Last week, Donna had a not-date lunch with an old, married flame, but ultimately turned down his offer for an affair, Louis had one final roll in the hay with Sheila before her wedding, and Rachel jumped into headfirst into Harvey and Mike’s blackmail bandwagon.

Let’s do this.

Louis, unshaven, strolls into work and has visions of everyone at the office yelling “shame, shame, shame” at him over and over, while ringing handbells and throwing trash at him. He tells Gretchen to cancel his appointment with his therapist Dr. Lippschitz, which Gretchen shoots down since it’s the most important part of both of their weeks. He also instructs Gretchen to take Game of Thrones off his to-do list for the rest of its run, implying… He’s seen enough R-rated scenes in the last 24 hours to make up for it? Not clear.

Louis drops work off at his favorite associate Brian’s desk, and said associate informs him that there’s a situation going on with a pacifier manufacturer ripping off another pacifier manufacturer’s design, and it’s mostly there for the word play. It instantly becomes the most important thing on Louis’ to-do list.

Mike is waiting in Harvey’s office with a challenge: Now that the prison case is over, Harvey needs go from defense to offense and show everyone how he’s different from Jessica. Time to go head-to-head with the new deputy attorney general by signing clients he’s going after.

Mike and Harvey go to visit Mr. Hot Shot AG at a gym, which Harvey describes as “losers sweating together in a confined space,” and I instantly want that on a t-shirt. He explains that he now represents Ellmont Investments (someone the deputy AG is going after) and demands that Hot Shot drop the suit now. After the gentlemen throw vague challenges at one another, it’s revealed that Hot Shot is actually named Andrew Malick and he and Harvey worked at the same office for three years. Only problem is, Harvey has no recollection of this at all, which turns this whole thing very personal.

Flashback time!! Donna, sporting bangs since it’s apparently 12 years ago (good grief, that’s a very far back flashback,) is dealing with “Andy” making snide comments about her and Harvey. Andy, looking exactly the same as he does in the present, is ticked off about how Harvey is all buddy buddy with their boss Cameron while he’s still working late into the night. Seems we’re dealing with a long-standing grudge in our new fried Andrew.

Back in the present, Rachel asks Donna about her date last night. Donna says she called off the date because she knew it wouldn’t make her feel good about herself, and she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Brian and Louis come down hard on the manufacturer of the copycat pacifier, who looks a little like he could be Robin Thicke’s cousin. The conversation goes from 0 to 60 pretty quickly when the manufacturer guy tells Brian he must be a terrible father if he can’t put his baby down without a pacifier, and just get meaner from there. Brian has an absolute Louis/Harvey meltdown, complete with the “What did you just say?” at the beginning and ending with about three different lawsuits he plans to throw at the guy. Brian’s clearly been paying attention at the office. Louis just stands by, impressed.

He later tells Brian that he loved his papa bear meltdown and encourages him to go into “Mufasa Brian” mode all the time while on this case.

Meanwhile, Mike and Harvey are strolling through the office and Mike is worried that the personal nature of this case is going to ruin things between them again. Donna jumps in and agrees, this Andrew guy is sneaky. Harvey responds, “The only reason he remembers me and I don’t remember him is, he sucked and I was awesome.” I suddenly miss Barney Stinson.

Donna and Mike simultaneously eye roll and I can’t wait for that gif. Mike tries to speak reason into Harvey, but none of this matters because Andrew has already subpoenaed them.

Andrew starts deposing their client, Ellmont Investments, on camera with a rapid-fire string of baiting questions that Harvey and Mike fend off left and right. He thinks the investor took a deal just for the bonuses it would bring the board, and ends his tirade with the fact that he doesn’t care if she’s innocent or not, she is going to prison. That doesn’t seem particularly fair for an AG to say, but okay then.

After the commercial break, Robert Zane stops by the office to visit Rachel. He was impressed with her move last week, and wants to work with her on a pro bono. Harvey already cleared it.

Speaking of Harvey, he’s working on a way to win this case, but Mike’s already figured it out: Cut and run since the investors are obviously guilty. Bust Harvey comes to the same conclusion I just came to - public servants can’t say they don’t care about the people they serve, especially on camera.

The next day, Rachel and her dad drop by the bank’s lawyer to drop off their discrimination lawsuit - the bank has been accused of predatory lending. Robert wants to depose the CEO and the lawyer will see him in court.

Harvey and Mike drag Andrew in front of a judge to basically tell on him. The easily flip the conversation so it’s not about the fact that their client is obviously guilty, but instead about Malick being recorded on tape saying he doesn’t care if she’s innocent or guilty. The judge gives him 24 hours to prove the client’s guilt.

Louis receives a phonemail from Hank, the copycat pacifier manufacturer. Hank received Mufasa Brian’s TRO and it’s apparently so unbelievably poorly written, it opens the door for them to countersue Pearson Specter Litt. During the phone call, Louis imagines Hank yelling at him because he’s Sheila’s fiancé, and I really believe it’s true until the end of the call.

Louis jumps all over Brian in the kitchen - apparently, the only thing Brian did wrong in the TRO is that he said the company’s baby product was “inferior” to theirs, which implies they’re different products, which means they can’t have violated any patent. Louis throws him off the case, yelling at him all the terrible things he’s thinking about himself.

Meanwhile in court, Robert has brought the bank’s lawyer to court on predatory lending, saying they need to bring the CEO in. The judge asks for proof, and they offer up evidence of the bank not providing loans to African Americans. The judge says they can depose loan officers for now.

At the office, Gretchen and Louis are carrying on the long-standing tradition of bathroom heart-to-hearts. He shouldn’t have treated Brian like that, Gretchen says. Louis says she needs to back off or she’s fired, so Gretchen comes out swinging. “You are nasty and abusive,” she yells. “If you treat another associate like that, I will knock you the hell out!” GOOD FOR YOU, GRETCHEN. FINALLY. She knows something’s going on and he needs to talk to Lippschitz.

Mike and Harvey are toasting to their victory over Malick in record time. But surprise! Time to pour a third glass, as Malick himself strolls in to deliver tomorrow’s paper and leave with a sneer at Donna. The paper has undeniable evidence of their client’s guilt, which means they’re backed into a corner.

Gretchen interrupts Brian leaving his resignation letter on Louis’ desk. He says he doesn’t want to work for a "man like that,” and Gretchen rips him to shreds and challenges him to fix this and clean up his own mess. I like Gretchen this episode!!!

Mike and Harvey go to visit their definitely now proven guilty client and confront her with the newspaper. She claims that the evidence Malick dug up isn’t really the whole truth, and basically tells her lawyers to quit making her life such a pain and just do their job. They approached her with the case to begin with, they should fix any problems that arise and leave her out of it. The definitely guilty woman makes a point.

As our favorite lawyer duo leave her office, Mike points out that Mallick probably doesn’t have the evidence he claims to have because it doesn’t exist - he made it up. And then he throws out the greatest meta line this show has ever seen.

Harvey: “I am a lawyer, you know.”
Mike: “I’ll tell you the truth, between the hair and the short hours, I kind of forget it sometimes.”

Why wasn’t this episodes the special 100th episode? It’s got everything.

Zane and Zane are going over their case together, which has Rachel nostalgic for happier father/daughter times. Daddy Zane uses this as an opportunity to say he’s glad he’s daughter put off her wedding, which both Rachel and I take offense to, but he clarifies that it’s because he can still do things like spend time with her. Wasn’t he the one just a few weeks ago getting on her case about not planning the wedding yet? And will he not be able to spend time with her after the wedding? Mike is probably the only lawyer on this show who actually works insane lawyer hours, so she'll have some free time.

A quick skyline shot of NYC between scenes and we see that it’s still dated footage from when Freedom Tower was only halfway constructed.

Back at the office, Louis and Brian are both apologizing and admitting fault. Brian presents the attorney with evidence that seems very smoking gun. And then the entire conversation turns into a therapy session in which Louis reassures Brian that he’s not a bad father and drops a line so ridiculous that I can’t even imagine how many takes they had to do in order to get through with a straight face.

In court, Harvey immediately challenges Malick for proof that his evidence exists, and Malick says not only does it exists, Harvey covered it up, as he has a history of doing. Okay. So here’s where it’s going to get personal. “Which of the many times that you’ve crossed the line am I planning on exposing to the world?” he asks, which is maybe the most legitimate threat Harvey’s ever heard.

We’re in the women's restroom now, where Louis is apologizing to Gretchen. She accepts the apology with grace and tells Louis that Lippschitz is on his way over to the office for their session.

The father and daughter duo are ready to depose the bank's loan officers, and are clearly surprised when the first one that walks in is African American. The loan officer says the computer program they use to determine loan eligibility doesn’t allow for discrimination - it strips out every personal trait, including race. Robert doesn’t like this and throws a temper tantrum that clearly something’s going on.

He handles it somewhat less than professionally, leaving Rachel looking embarrassed, and forcing the bank’s lawyer to depart with the threat of a lawsuit of their own.

Back in Harvey’s office, Mike wants to know what Malick has on Harvey. Harvey knows the exact incident that Malick’s referring to, but he wasn’t the one suppressing any evidence. It turns out Malick’s going to make it look like Harvey did it by subpoenaing the one other person who was there when it all went down - Donna. Mock trial time! Harvey is very against this, since Louis was brutal to Donna last time, and oh yeah, she had to admit she loved Harvey in front of everyone. But she says it’s fine, it’s what they have to do. Harvey hates this because of what it’s going to do to Donna, and because of what it’s going to Louis.

Louis is currently with Dr. Lippschitz and working through his guilt of meeting up with Sheila. Oh wait, it turns out it’s not his guilt, it’s the fact that he dumped her in the first place because he wanted a baby and she didn’t, and now he’ll never have any of it. His therapist hears this, and says that it’s time for them to figure out a way to keep Louis from lashing out at those around him. Well said, Doc. Does this mean he can’t take on Donna in the mock trail?

Rachel asks her dad for the truth: what’s really going on with this case. Robert says 25 years ago the CEO of that company was cruel to his aunt and completely ruined her life, so he figured this was his opportunity to take the man down. It turns out he was inspired by Mike risking his career going after the prison system in the name of justice. Rachel suggests they take the night to think about next steps.

In the lobby of their office building, Harvey and Donna catch Louis up on everything happening. Louis flat-out refuses to partake in the mock trail and Harvey and Donna use every move in the book to convince him to do it. “I am asking you to do whatever you have to do to protect me again,” Donna says, and that comment, along with Harvey’s nod of approval, is what does it. Louis is in.

Donna heads to Rachel’s apartment with a bottle of wine, ready to finally tell her everything that’s going on. They start talking about the mock trail from years ago - it turns out the old boyfriend they discussed during the trail was Mark. Mark, whom she almost had an affair with. Rachel asks if she regrets choosing Harvey over Mark, and Donna says she thinks she regrets putting Harvey over herself.

Closing montage time! Louis shows up at Brian’s apartment to help with the baby, which is a really sweet gesture and temporarily satisfies Louis’ desire for children.

Next week: The summer finale of Suits, which, based on the trailers, looks to be all about Donna and Harvey. Yay!

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