Well, it’s Christmas time again, and for the Nine-Nine, you know what that means…an intense hostage situation of course! Merry Christmas and happy holidays
to all!
The Christmas spirit is certainly present in the precinct as Amy tries once again to avoid Holt’s “no gifts” policy, though her creepy, unmarked package
left anonymously on Holt’s desk does set off a few alarm bells. Literal ones, actual, as Holt mistakes the suspicious package for a bomb. And things only
get more festive from there.
Boyle gives Jake a bottle of his favorite soda, now found only in Syria where they use it to induce labor in goats. But this is only his first
present, a little gift amuse-bouche. Boyle’s very thoughtful gift presentation leads Jake to realize that he’s totally forgotten to get something for
Boyle. And since that would completely break his dear friend’s heart, he enlists Gina’s help to find him a gift in time. She agrees to help if he snaps a
post-shower pic of Terry -- Jake agrees to the terms. Boyle overhears that they’re going to Goodwin’s and Jake bluffs that he forgot a present for Amy,
which naturally convinces Boyle that he should come along.
The trio arrives at the department store only to see it locked in front of their eyes. Luckily the shoppers already inside get an extra 15 minutes to
finish up, so the group sneak in through a back door and Jake gets to make his purchase. Although Boyle snatches the gift from him and questions Jake’s
choice of cologne for his girlfriend, the Nine-Niners soon run into bigger trouble as they realize there are robbers in the store. They call in
the robbery and call Terry for help. He tasks them with keeping Gina safe, which prove to be difficult due to her desire to create flamethrowers.
Jake gets excited about getting his Die Hard moment, and goes to work on some sneaky surveillance. He assumes the men are evil Germans, and runs
around the store assigning them names like “Klaus” and “Günter.” After Jake returns from his surveillance, Gina takes off to try and nab some hairspray
(for the flamethrowers), but ends up taken as a hostage instead. Adding to the bad news, when Jake and Boyle round up three of the baddies, they find out
that the robbers are Canadians with boring names like “Matt.” (Though it does give Jake the chance to use his odd Canadian/Swedish Chef accent.)
The two detectives try to get past the other men and over to the hostages through the vents, but a noisy grate falling from the ceiling gives away their
location pretty quickly. Jake sends Boyle away before the guards arrive, as they don’t know there are two of them. He also tries pretending like he is one
of the Canadian robbers himself, but unsurprisingly this fails and ends with him in the hostage area. Jake’s spirits rise a little when he meets one of the
truly bad guys, with a nasty scar and a grudge against cops, though he’s not excited for long because the imposing Canadian quickly informs Jake that he
means to kill him. Luckily, with a horribly misquoted, yet appropriate for network TV, “Yippie kayak other buckets!” Boyle jumps through the ceiling and
knocks out ol’ Scarface.
The group realize that the robbers are planning to escape through the sewers (due to their drilling equipment and the fart smell that Gina swore was coming
from fellow hostage Ramone), and give Terry the heads up. The robbers get caught, as does Jake when he admits the gift of “stank” cologne was actually for
Boyle. Luckily Boyle doesn’t seem too heartbroken, as Jake gave up his dream of being the vent-climbing hero in order for Boyle to get away. Then one of
the robbers makes a break for it, and in what is definitely the coolest moment of the season, Jake tosses Gina a can of hairspray, and she stops the perp
with her flamethrower. And then of course she proceeds to wield the flame like a madperson until Terry calls for someone to take her down.
While the hostage drama occupies most of their fellow Nine-Niners, Rosa, Holt, and Amy are a bit preoccupied with some chilly water. Or rather, freezing water, cold as Cocytus (according to Holt). Rosa and Holt run into the water without a second thought, but Amy only gets as far as her ankles before she runs out screaming. In fact, nothing can get her into the water until she sees the plethora of text messages from Jake, updating her about the hostage situation. When Rosa and Holt prove to be too far away to hear her cries from shore, she runs into the frozen waters of hell (in a full length jacket) in order to share her news. Luckily she gets a bit of a chance to warm up when the three detectives arrive at the department store and reunite with the heroes, as Amy kisses Jake, who apparently has a nicely warm face.
It was fun to see Terry take down The Vulture, as he was pretty submissive when The Vulture was his boss just a few months earlier. But when The Vulture’s stupidity and stubbornness threatened civilians and his friends, Terry put his career on the line. (Though, as The Vulture points out, he could always work as a model.) It was nice to see Holt recognize Terry’s leadership abilities, and encourage him to try for a higher rank. Here’s hoping Sarge can make it to Lieutenant this year!
The “Amy’s a Wimp” story was a little lame, but as there was almost no time leftover for a third story, it’s fairly understandable. And watching Amy’s very brief run into, and out of, the water, was pretty amusing.
Again, a really great B99 episode to close the first part of Season 3. The show really knows what it is and how to play to its strengths, as well as make good use of the talented ensemble cast. Sure, I could do with a few less “Terry speaks in third person” lines (I mean, that barely works for Elmo, and he’s just a young muppet), but it’s been a really enjoyable run so far this year.
What did you think of the episode? How does it stack up against other homages to genres or films that B99 has done? Who did you think was going to save the day? Do you agree with Holt, “no lies at Chrismas”? Do you think Amy goes swimming in the summer in a wetsuit? What is Boyle’s real Christmas gift for Jake? Let us know what you think below!
Have a happy holiday season, and come back for more B99 in January!
