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Last Week in TV - Week of March 2, 2014 - Episode Awards and Reviews

Welcome to Last Week in TV, a weekly column where I discuss the TV I've watched and hand out episode awards. Please add your own reviews and episode awards in the comments section below. Every week I take one show nominated by you, the readers, and add it to my watch list. I've been fortunate to discover some of my favorite new shows this way. This week was Orphan Black, which I had already started watching a few months back. I am almost finished with season 1 and look forward to season 2. If you have a show you'd like to nominate, the short (2 question) form is right about the comments section. Until next week, happy TV viewing!

Overall Awards:

Episode of the Week - Star-Crossed - Our Toil Shall Strive to Mend

Believe me, I am as shocked as you are that this was the best episode I saw this week. It wasn't even close. This was the Star-Crossed I have been waiting to see. It sidelined the love schmoopiness (and Emery for a good portion - yeah!) to concentrate on the political and cultural issues of an alien species crash landing in your lap. Getting to see the issue from multiple sides, both human and Atrian, made the episode. In addition secrets were exposed, we finally got to see the Atrian ship, and Drake, Teri, and Grayson got more screen time. I easily find them the most compelling teens, along with Roman, on the show and I look forward to seeing their growth as pressure increases. The parallel between Teri and Grayson flowed nicely and I hope Star-Crossed keeps exploring how they navigate their parental pressures. I don't like that Teri chose a side based on jealousy, but I am guessing she will make quite the spy when things turn around. Roman also saw tremendous growth by stepping up as leader and diffusing a hostile situation. Still the best part of the episode was the Trags. Vega was a powerful new character and I hope she will continue to be featured. In fact I hope we get some back story for her character, especially if it contrasts Nox and her.

Scariest Show - Those Who Kill (A&E) - 1.01 - Pilot

SPOILER ALERT - This contains the main plot points and twists of the pilot episode. Read only if you want to know.

I watch a lot of TV and most of it is genre, so it is a rare episode that makes me jump much less scares me. This episode makde me jump 4 different times, each more scary than the last even when I knew one of them was coming. This isn't your tame serial killer, whose pictures or autopsies are designed to gross the audience out or make them uncomfortable. This is watching a killer torture a woman repeatedly. It goes so far as to show him starting to get off on his victim's screams. To say it made me uncomfortable may be the biggest understatement of all. Add to it that the main characters were each creepier than the serial killer in their own way. To watch a lead character trap another in the same box the killer used, cut off the oxygen, and lay down on top of it was the most disturbing of all. I don't care how "method" of a criminologist he is, that is sick. Adding to the torture of a terrified woman even for a couple of minutes is unexcusable. The other lead character doesn't come off any better. From having pictures of serial killers' houses hanging on her wall like an art gallery to the way she made the serial killer cross his arms before cold bloodily shooting him, she is by far the most damaged character and this is only the first episode. To put it in TV math terms, Those who Kill = (the torture porn of The Following x 20) + the moral bankruptcy of any basic cable antihero + the pacing of Hannibal - anything remotely resembling joy or humor.

Best Scene / Best Use of Music - Goldbergs - Goldbergs Never Say Die - Barry and Erica prank Adam with a fake treasure hunt

Let's face it, siblings play the best pranks and this one was amazing. Tired of Adam's obsession (and TV hogging) with the movie, The Goonies, Erica and Barry create a fake treasure map and store it in the back of a picture frame in their attic. Just like in the movie, Barry knocks it over so Adam finds the map. Barry then teases him about the lost Benjamin Franklin treasure hidden somewhere in the town. Adam's so excited that he finally has an adventure to go on of his own that he can't see how clearly made up this is. He gets all his friends to dress up as Goonie characters, forcing casual acquaintancew David Kim to play the part of Data over his strong objections. The treasure map leads them to bike across the street with great pomp and circumstance. Inside a knot in teh tree is a note saying that Adam is a loser. It's heartbreaking to see him so crushed, but you still have to admit it was a great prank made better by the accompanying Goonies music. In fact, they did a great job of incorporating the original music throughotu the episode, even the instrumentals. Overall, thsi one one fantastic episode.

Biggest Awww Moment - Almost Human - Straw Man - Dorian gets John a fancy new leg

One of the reasons why I want Almost Human to be renewed is the fantastic buddy cop vibe of Dorian and John. (Plus answers to all the dangling plot threads.) While airing the episodes out of order, hurt the natural flow of that relationship development, it is clear that while John was distrusting of Dorian in the beginning they are now partners now. Earlier in the episode, John is asked to assess Dorian's fitness as a cop and he gives him a glowing review. Finding out about it, Dorian decides to give John a present of a new prothestic leg to replace his mediocre one. It'sz a touching gift that points out just how John has progressed when it comes to technology in his life. It also shows how well Dorian knows his partner. John would have never gotten one for himself and he doesn't show his glee around Dorian, but when he goes back to pick it up on the way to another crime scene he is beaming. It's a gift from the heart, and John knows it. With a partnership like this, it's hard to think of it ending so soon.

TV Trend of the Week -  Answers

If last week was all about the back story, this week is all about answers. Surprisingly none of them came from the only show finale. Whether as the gist of the entire plot like Teen Wolf or just a teasing snippet like The Blacklist, TV was falling all over itself to give us answers this week, way sooner than usual. In Teen Wolf we finally found out Kira's family's connection to the nogitsune and how it came to be. Helix featured the Alien Answer Dude, who was quite chatty before killing himself, and verified how Julia's blood was special. Star-Crossed had Emery finding out about Grayson's family running the Redhawks, while The Blacklist confirmed that Tom's marriage is an assignment instead of love. SHIELD gave us a glimpse into T.A.H.I.T.I. while keeping its love of acronyms alive. Even The Big Bang Theory explained why Howard and Sheldon are always picking on each other. The first week of March sweeps was a win for people wanting to know what the heck was going on in their shows.

Nominated and New Shows:

Nominated Show: Orphan Black - 1.06 - Variations under Domestication

I confess. I have actually seen this episode before, but since it was specifically chosen as the nominated episode I decided I should review it instead of a different one. It also helps that this is one of the better episodes. It took me a bit to get into the series, but once I did I liked the mythology of it. Currently I have 2 episodes left in season 1 before starting season 2. Basically a con woman finds out that she is a clone. She fakes her own death and assumes the life of another clone who committed suicide. As the series progresses, she finds other clones and they all work together to try to figure out what happened to them and why. There is a lot of genetics and evolution philosophy, but at the heart it is a mystery with layers being peeled back slowly. I recommend this sci fi intrigue for people who aren't squeamish about nudity (although there isn't a whole lot, there is some), enjoy complex mythology where you have to pay close attention, and who don't mind taking a few episodes to really get into it. I'd also recommend it for anyone who is thinking about going into acting. Because Tatiana Maslany plays so many roles, it is a great way to look at character nuances.

Grade: B+
Rating: 4

Best Scene - Sarah tells Donnie to appreciate Alison more

Best Quote - Cosima: "Stick to the science? What am I? The geek monkey now."

Best Moment - Paul switches out the drugged alcohol for non-drugged whiskey

Best Reason to Watch - Tatiana Maslany playing multiple roles

Best Chance at Answers - Dr. Leekie and his neolution theory

Funniest - Alison threatening her husband with crafting scissors and a hot glue gun / Paul's confusion over drunk Alison and tied up Donnie

Biggest Flip Out - Alison whacks Donnie with a golf club and then holds him hostage with a hot glue gun

Best Use of Music - Lovefool by The Cardigans

Best Action/Save - Paul keeps Vic from making a scene at the party and then knocks him out

Most Gross - Paul nail guns Vic's hand to the chair

Least Surprising - Delphine and Leekie are involved

New Shows:

Those Who Kill (A&E) - 1.01 - Pilot

This is the most intense cop show I think I have ever seen. Everyone in it has Issues, capital "I" issues. Like "they may be creepier than the serial killers they are hunting" issues. Let's just say that it's a keep the lights on and group watch kind of show. Catherine, a detective, and Thomas, a criminal psychologist (I think), work together to locate and stop a serial killer who targets women trying to improve their lives. While it may sound like a typical crime procedural, it most assuredly is not. Things were far too intense for that and I am really not into torture porn. This is not my kind of show but for those who like genuine scares and morally ambiguous characters, check it out.

Grade: C
Ranking: 1

Best Quote - Frank: "So here's the deal. Every time this psycho kills someone you're going to feel responsible and you should."

The "What the Heck?" Award - Why did the psychologist guy lock the cop in and lay down on the death trap?

The Scariest Scene - The killer appears right behind Catherine and dumps her in the death trap.

Creepiest Non-Serial Killer - tie - Catherine and Thomas. Catherine with her wall of serial killer homes and Thomas with his getting in the mind of the serial killer evil.

Obligatory Cop Back Story - I'm guessing child abuse and probably something to do with her brother.

The "Freaking Install a Peep Hole" Award - Egads! That serial killer is like a freaking Jack-in-the-box. He keeps popping up and scaring me half to death.

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Catherine shoots the killer in cold blood

Sirens - 1.01 - Pilot

Sirens is the Mixology of this week in that it is really, really not funny. I could see value in the Theresa character but mostly it's 10 year old boy humor or raunchy to try to get a rise. Just bad entertainment all around. None of the 3 main characters are the least interesting and they feel stereotypical at best. Maybe it gets better in subsequent episodes but this one is a pass for me.

Grade: D
Ranking: 1

Best Scene - Theresa tells off Johnny while he stalks her

Best Quote - Johnny: "You have 8 brothers and sisters. When you say kids, it makes me think about living with the entire Cubs pitching staff." Theresa: "With one major difference, my kids could hold a lead in the 9th."

Best Reaction - Johnny and Hank when Brian doesn't know who Mike Ditka is

Best Product Placement - Gatorade

Best Awww Moment - Hank has Johnny as his ICE

Weekly Shows:

Almost Human - 1.13 - Straw Man - Season Finale

As far as season (and possibly series) finales go, this was rather low key. There's no cliffhanger. There's no big dramatic scene. There's also no answers to the many dangling plot points. It was a typical case of the week episode. I guess that's mostly because while writing they were likely still expecting a few more episodes in a back order. While the case was intriguing if a bit confusing, the real highpoint is getting more Kennex back story. Listening to him talk about his father and see his obvious pride was a fantastic scene. It was also nice to see how far Kennex and Dorian have come as partners. I hope this show is renewed for another secrets. I hate dangling plots as much as I love the buddy-cop feel of Almost Human.

Grade: B for the episode, C for a season finale

Best Scene - Kennex tells the story of his dad's honesty

Best Quote - Dorian: "I get it. I really do, but I'm glad Maldonado put us together."

Best Moment - Paul gives the homeless shades guy money for a motel

Best Reason to Watch - Kennex messing with Dorian over his interview

Best Technology - cupcake printer - yum!

Scariest Technology - Bioprinting humans

Funniest Moment - Dorian starts crying to Kennex's dismay

Best Boss - Maldonado, who seems to really know her officers, also knows the work smarter principle

Worst Advice - Rudy tells Dorian to act like an MX

Most Confusing - Why was this guy keeping bodies again? Something about cyborgs and test patients and bio breakdowns. It still makes no sense to me.

Star-Crossed - 1.03 - Our Toil Shall Strive to Mend

This was by far the best episode of Star-Crossed yet, mostly because it focused primarily on the political intrigue and sidelined Emery for the majority of the episode.

Grade: A-

Best Scene - Vega tells Teri she will have to make a choice

Best Quotes - Grayson: "Hate doesn't take a weekend."

Best Reason to Watch - Vega and the Trags

Best Interaction - Vega and Teri

Most Interesting Side Plot - Jules turning into a blue glow stick

Biggest Stalker - Emery has crossed the line from infatuated to full-on stalker at this point. It's not cute or interesting. It's the best reason to fast forward. Character re-haul stat! Right now I just want her dead.

Most Inspiring - Roman's speech

Most Touching - The Atrian wall of the missing

The "What the Heck" Award - Vega kills Beaumont with black cyper

Biggest Shock - Gloria has an Atrian son

Teen Wolf - 3.21 - The Fox and the Wolf

Teen Wolf was a disappointment this week. Because its primary purpose was information dumping, it made the hour seem to drag on. This was especially true since the majority of it took place in flashbacks when none of the main characters were even alive. The main character's only job was to listen to his girlfrien'ds mom tell her story. The other characters planned or walked around the entire time. The best thing about this episode was a new character, Parrish, bringing the comic relief and the fact that we now have enough answers that the show can race throught he last 3 episodes. Perhaps I would have liked this episode better if it had occurred sooner in the season, but we only had 4 episodes left before the longest Teen Wolf hiatus I will experience so far. They could have told everything important in half the time and moved us closed to saving Stiles.

Grade: C-

MVP - answers

Best Scene - Allison breaks down in the elevator and Sheriff comforts her

Best Quote - Parrish: "I'm not kidding. This thing's a few watts from being a light saber."

Best Reaction - Kira to learning her mom is 900

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Romeo and Juliet: The Internment Years

Scene Stealer - Parrish

Best Surprise - Satomi the werewolf

Blacklist - 1.15 - The Judge

This is the second episode in a row with a strong, compelling female criminal of the week. Sadly it just magnifies the issues I have with Elizabeth and the episode drag that is her marriage, even if we did get confirmation that it's all a sham. For me, the highlights of this episode were Ruth and Red's former roommate. Their stories outclipsed even the great Red Reddington or the return of Lance Reddick to my TV.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Red tells Ruth the truth about Rifkin and says she will peacefully give herself up

Best Quote - Jolene: "Wrong answer. Elizabeth Keen is not your wife. She's your target."

Red: "The day you started this you knew it would inevitably end, that when you released your first prisoner you would get caught. You don't want to diminish your legacy of righteousness because of him, which is why you're going to surrender."

Best Backstory - Red's former roommate explains how his association with Red ruined his career

Best Reason to Watch - Dianne Wiest makes a sympathetic but scary avenging angel

Best Surprise - Lance Reddick returns to my screen. (Nice to have you back Broyles and great hat!)

The "Holy Freaking Blizzard, Batman" Award - When Lizzie goes to question the marshal, the wrath of Mother Nature pours down more ferociously than anything I've seen on TV, except in fake blizzards. Kudos to these two for marching through bad conditions.

Most Shocking (sorry, it had to be done) - Ruth uses an electric chair to kill

Best Results - the pleas of the prisoners are going to be reviewed

Biggest Advance in the Plot - They confirmed that Tom is in Lizzie's life as a job

SHIELD - 1.14 - T.A.H.I.T.I.

Skye lives and absolutely no one on the planet is shocked. A good 20% are probably disappointed as well, me included. Mostly this turned out to be a rescue we all knew would end in success so nothing about it felt tense or emotionally fraught. In fact the best part was the introducing of Garrett and Tripllett, who added much needed color to the episode. I sincerely hope they come back again, as good or evil. It doesn't matter to me as long as they keep the trademark snark. I expect that we also got some much needed answers but since I have no idea who or what Big Blue is, it was mostly a wash for me. Since next week appears to be a marketing tool to get people to see the latest Marvel movie, I'm not sure anything will be cleared up then either.

Grade: C+

Best Scene - May beats the stuffing out of Quinn when they're told there is nothing they can do

Best Action - Ward versus Triplett

Best Quote - Fitz: "So what about Tahiti?" Coulson: "Turns out, wasn't so magical."

Best Reason to Watch - the newbies, Garett and Triplett

MVP - Garrett

Biggest Non-Surprise - Skye is saved. This is the worse part of the episode as well.

Most Gunfire - For 2 people guarding a silo, they sure shoot up the place.

The "Huh?" Award - I have no idea what that body was at the end but I know something big just happened.

The "Aliens Suck" Award - Lorelei Jedi mind tricks a poor schlub into leaving his new bride behind. Next stop, divorce.

Goldbergs - 1.16 - Goldbergs Never Say Die

I loved this episode mostly because it is an homage to one of the greatest 80's films of all, The Goonies. From the music integrated so well to the movie clips to the spoof of hunting for their grandma's missing jewels, The Goldbergs was spot on in capturing the delight of watching The Goonies as a kid. Even Adam's big rallying speech made me laugh, pointing out issues I had with the movie as well. I'm surprised he didn't talk about the gunpowder though. Overall this was the most satisyfing bit of nostalgia yet and another example of why The Goldbergs is far superior to almost all comedies out there. If you are not watching this show, you should definitely check it out.

Grade: A-

Best Moment - Erica tells Barry that this is a biking, not driving time

Best Awww Moment - the kids all having fun riding their bikes

Best Quote - Adam's Goonies speech

Best Reason to Watch - The Goonies (video clips, background music, quotes)

Best Recurring Characters -Mirsky, Dana, and Chad

Best Revenge - Adam gives Barry and Erica the silent treatment for over a week

Best Homage - Barry lifts up the mini-fridge and everyone crawls through his legs / Erica plays the piano

Funniest - Beverly and Barry workout video

Trophy Wife - 1.15 - Happy Bert Day

Sadly, Trophy Wife wasn't very funny this episode. I felt little sympathy for Kate wanting to get in with the neighborhood gossips or Pete getting so much glee over Diane's comeuppance. Both Jackie and even Bert were more annoying than fun. The ending when Kate forgives Jackie was touching and showed again why Kate is the superior character in so many ways.

Grade: C-

Best Scene - Diane, Pete, and the cop

Best Quote - Pete: "Protect our home."

Best Character Interaction - Diane and Pete

Best Reason to Watch - Pete trying to keep his house clean in a party for 8 year olds

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Kate making Bert's party all about her

Most Relatable - Diane's impatience and road rage

MVP - the cake

Best Speech - Pete's soccer rallying speech about not touching the ball so they can tie

Most Superfluous Guest Star - the guy from the Bachelor

The "Say What?" Award - no teenage girl would ever let her brother talk to the guy she was interested in for her / no teenage boy would wear a locket of his parents

Perception - 2.12 - Brotherhood

After sticking Max with a lame prodigy story last week, Perception is back on track with an awesome story about Max's brother, with enough back story to flush out his character more. We learn about his time in foster care and see his guilt over basically abandoning his brother in the pursuit of the everyday. While the case was transparent from the beginning and the actual shooter immediately recognizable, this was more about character development. The interaction between Max and Kenny as well as the spat between Max and Daniel made this episode.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Max convinces his brother to turn himself in

Best Quote - Kate: "The great Daniel Pierce, wrong. What prompted this groundbreaking admission?" Daniel: "Well I'm probably not wrong." Kate: "Okay good, I thought I lost you there for a second."

Best Reason to Watch - Max back story

Best Interaction - Max and his brother

Best Return - Caroline is back, my favorite hallucination

Funniest - Max imitates Kenny's snoring

Most Well-Thought Out Running Away Plan - Kenny plans to run away and become a welder so his work can outlast him. He also has a job lined up. While this is bound to end in utter failure, he's at least got a plan. Most kids who say they are running away never think past getting out.

The "Way to Guilt Mom" Award - Max lays it on thick with Kenny's best friend, Charlie, in order to get him to confess to the murder

Growing Up Fisher - 1.02 - Blind Man's Bluff

The second episode of Growing Up Fisher was less funny and heartwarming than the pilot. I did like how Joyce seems to be slightly growing up and it makes sense that Mel's blindness would get out. Henry pretending to be blind was not funny at all though. Katie remains the most mature but to be honest, it is Runyon who sticks out the most. He's funny. Growing Up Fisher gets one more episode from me in the regular season but it will likely go to summer viewing after that.

Grade: C

Best Quote - Mel: "Just be yourself." Henry: "I have a 12 year old track record of that never working."

Scene Stealer - Runyon

Best Character Interaction - Katie and Henry

Funniest - Runyon gives Henry a makeover

Best Moment - Joyce finally acts like a mom

Best Throwback - Yoda impressions

Wonderland - 1.09 - Nothing to Fear

Wonderland is many times a campy romp of fun. Knowing that it is only one season long makes it even more breezy fun because there's nothing to get attached to. However, in this long hiatus, I forgot how utterly annoying Alice is. Why can't we ever get a villain's story since in both Wonderland and its sire, OUaT, the villains are far more compelling than the morally superior heroines? The Red Queen lights up every scene she is in and quite frankly the Jabberwocky could be very interesting with her mind control powers. I'm not sure if I like the "Knave as a genie" bit, but it keeps the Red Queen squarely in the middle of things so kudos there. Speaking of, Will was just as most snarky fun as ever and I liked that Lizard returned. I hate that she's now dead. Basically, Wonderland would improve greatly if they ship Alice and Cyrus back to England and make it the Queen and Knave versus Jafar show.

Grade: C

Best Quote - Red Queen: "Ulgh, you two are even more insufferable together, do you know that?"

Best Character Interaction - Will and Lizard

Best Reason to Watch - Red Queen's redemption arc

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Cyrus and Alice's tortured dialogue or basically anything Alice

Best Character Return - Lizard

Most Obtuse - Will, who can't see how much Lizard likes him

The Fireworks Award - Lizard makes one heck of a transformation

The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - They killed off one of the best characters in Lizard.

Most Intriguing - the Jabberwocky

TBBT - 7.17 - The Friendship Turbulence

I like how the show continues its tradition of pairing up unlikely characters. Giving Sheldon and Howard time to bond without it being solely bout insults was a good call. Raj asking Amy to be his wingman was less successful. I wish Amy was allowed to find other friends like the coffee shop girl. However the best part of the episode was Leonard buying Penny a car. It was sweet and the most heart this show has had since Howard sang his song to a quarantined Bernadette.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Sheldon and Howard bond over turbulence

Best Quote - Sheldon: "I have an eidetic memory. I don't know what his problem is."

Funniest Moment - Sheldon taps on Howard like he knocks on Penny's door

Longest Grudge - Sheldon is still holding Howard to blame for a prank he pulled a decade ago

Biggest Awww - Leonard buys Penny a car to go to auditions

Crazy Ones - 1.17 - Heavy Meddling

Another week were Zach is one of my favorite characters. Things are really turning around on The Crazy Ones. I really like his bromance with Andrew. As a plus, Owen turned out to be very likeable even if he's not going to beon teh show anymore.

Grade: B

Best Scene - Sydney and Owen trade their flaws / Zach fighting to keep Andrew as a partner

Best Quote - Zach: "Don't get on that plane…account." Andrew: "Why shouldn't I?" Zach: "Because I don't want to be with anyone else. When I first started, I asked Simon, 'Who's the best art guy? That's who I want to work with.' You make me better every day." Andrew: "Look, I…I've put a lot into this thing with George and it wouldn't be right to abandon him." Zach: "I understand. I just had to try."

Best Reason to Watch - Andrew and Zach switch partners

Funniest Scene - Andrew and Zach break up as partners

The "Sucks to have a New Roommate" Award - Sydney has to buy cigarettes to use a store bathroom since she doesn't want to go in front of her new boyfriend

Biggest Suck Up - George

Best Use of Music - I Don't Want to Wait by Paula Cole

Elementary - 2.17 - Ears to You

Lestrade has to go. He was entertaining at first but depressed, boozy Lestrade is a bore. The most interesting thing about this episode is the whole idea that people can grow new ears on other places on their body. That sounds so science fiction I found it hard to believe. Who even came up with the idea to try this and why? It's definitely the most bizarre twist I've ever heard in a police procedural. Bravo!

Grade: C+

Best Scene - Sherlock's crisis of conscience over searching for the dead guy's identity at an anonymous meeting

Best Quote - Sherlock: "Are you approaching anything resembling a point?"

Best Moment - Joan rescues the remote control from the rooster.

Best Reason to Watch - the ripped from the headlines plot where the accused is innocent

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Lestrade's boozy moping

Funniest - Lestrade's limerick about the mugger

Best Aww Moment - tie - Sherlock makes Lestrade believe his theory is right / Watson says she has faith in SHerlock

The "Say What?" Award - ears grown on human backs? That's a real thing? The writers assure me it is.

MVP - Watson

Most Interesting Filler - the history of Alphonse Bertillon, who invented the mug shot and anthropometrics which was the precursor of fingerprinting

Community - 5.08 - App Development and Condiments

After a rocky start, this is Community back to its self-aware, absurdist finest. Its dialogue skewers and its hyperbole crackles. Plus it finally shines a spotlight on Shirley. I love when Community takes a contemporary issue and blows it completely out of proportion to make its point. In this case it was the lengths people will go to in order to be popular online. In an age of Facebook friends and Twitter followers, sometimes the online world can be more brutal than real life, a new rat race of our own making. Only Community can find so much humor in our insecurities and self-imposed class structures.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Jeff and Shirley are banished to the outlands together

Best Quote - Britta: "I'm a psych major. Words are my weapons." Guard: "I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons."

Best Interaction - Shirley and Jeff

Best Reason to Watch - the skewering of our apps loving culture and what people will do to get online popularity

Funniest - Jeff in tights and a halter top

Best Speech - Jeff's anti-app speech

Best Turnaround - Britta leads the revolution away from Shirley and Jeff

Best Outtake - the Koogler movie trailer

Grimm - 3.14 - Mommy Dearest

I really adore Wu and his snark, so I have been looking forward to this episode for a long time. Maybe I built it up too much in my mind, maybe it was the pacing, or the fact that Wu had zero snark tonight, but this episode fell a little flat. In part I blame the exposition. We normally have a big exposition dump in the middle of the episode, but there were at least 4 in this episode mostly repeating what we heard previously. That breaks up an episode's pace and makes it feel longer than it really is. I always have a huge problem with the ending. Wu's checks himself into a mental hospital and Nick and Hank still do not tell him the truth. What the heck! What exactly is the point of keeping it a secret now? He's already seen Wesen and he's clearly not coping well. How would telling him the truth make things worse? I have zero respect for this decision.

Grade: B-

Best Scene - Wu freaks out over the Aswang changing back to human form

Best Quote - Hank: "Do we have to start at the beginning?" Monroe: "Yeah, pick it up right before the 'and then I cut off his head' part."

Best Reason to Watch - Back story on Wu

Funniest Moment - Wu's first name is Drew

The "Are You Freaking Nuts?" Award - They leave Wu in a mental ward instead of telling him the truth about Wesen. What the heck, people! How is this helping?

Best Product Placement - CVS

Bingo Square Covered - dinner party complete with pictures and talk of something horrible

Most Creepy Award - Monroe doesn't find anything wrong with frying up some baby placenta and eating it

The Continuity Award - That's another parent wanting to cling to old traditions to the detriment of her son

Scene Stealer - the motel owner

The Musketeers - 1.06 - The Exiles

Is King Louis the most juvenile sovereign ever to grace TV? If not, I'm hard-pressed to figure out who is. It's hard not to root for Marie de Medici's plan, although she's no winner herself. The political intrigue of this episode, plus the idea that it might rear its head again in the future, made for a thrilling, fast-paced drama this week. Marie versus the Cardinal was riveting and I can't help thinking that if they ever did combine forces, they would tear each other apart. Now that would be fascinating if toxic. I also loved the interaction between Aramis and Agnes, even if she was a bit too naïve. The nugget of Aramis back story was nice too. Overall The Musketeers continues to be one of my favorite shows this year.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Constance fights the lecher

Best Quote - Cardinal: "Decapitating one's mother is rarely popular with the people, sire. It always looks a touch ungrateful."

Best Reason to Fast Forward - the touching royal family reunion

Best Reason to Watch - political intrigue over the royal succession

Best Interaction - Marie de Medici and the Cardinal

Best Moment - Marie offers the Cardinal cake

The "Say What?" Award - How can the kidnapper not see D'Artagnan when he's following him through a wide open field?

The "I Fear for France" Award - The king runs off like a toddler when his mother returns and then throws a temper tantrum, yelling, "That's not fair."

Biggest Anachronism - D'Artagnan: "Don't you just love it when a plan comes together?"

Enlisted - 1.07 - Parade Duty

Enlisted works best when the laughs and heart come together. This episode did a much better job of that than the last one. I particularly liked Derrick recognizing that Pete does have some reason to brag. Not as much as he does of course, but still. I could have done without the constant poop jokes but Derrick the Dream Crusher flashbacks were outstanding. I particularly laughed at the Chubowski one. The marching montage made me laugh so hard I was almost out of breath. Enlisted remains tied with The Goldbergs as my favorite comedy this year.

Grade: B

Best Scene - The cleanup crew cadence complete with the soldier salute

MVP - Derrick

Funniest - Marching montage

Best Quote - Cody: "That state senator that was supposed to do it accidentally smoked crack and ended up playing the drums with the Chuck E. Cheese Band." Pete: "Wow." Cody: "Florida, what are you going to do?"

Biggest Aww Moment - Derrick calls Pete a hero

Smartest - Perez gets Shifflet's father to put them on float duty

Best Advice - Cody reminds Pete that the most important thing is his fellow soldiers

Helix - 1.10 - Fushigi

Helix is the most shocking episode this week because it did something I never expected. It gave us answers. Oh sure, not even close to all the answers. Not even enough to feel we've gotten some closure, but it's a great start. I'm still convinced these 500 immortals are aliens but at least we know what they are calling themselves. I only wish Alien Answer Dude had stuck around a little while longer to give us more scoop. On the medical side, we have an explanation for Julia's recovery and silver eyes. True, I didn't understand a word of it except "cures cancer." Overall though, this episode gave me a booster shot of hope that the answers are out there and unlike Chris Carter, the Helix team actually knows what they are. That's exactly what I needed at this juncture. Well that and more answers next week.

Grade: B+

Best Scene - Sarah and Hatake talk about science and whether the ends justify the means

Best Reason to Watch - Answers. Ilaria is controlled by 500 immortals.

Best Reason to Fast Forward - Alan and Julia's past chats / recapitations

Best Subplot - Daniel, Anana, and Sergio. Can these guys please become the main characters?

The "What the Heck?" Award - Why is Alan whisper speaking in the hallway and the lab?

Most in Need to Go - Alan and his overly righteous attitude about everything

The "Road to Hell" Award - Sara tells Hatake that the ends justify the means in the pursuit of science

Biggest Shock - they gave us answers / semi-immortal alien dude

Biggest Mistake - They keep killing off the best characters. First VetLady. Then Constance. Now Stooges Scientist and the only alien guy who was willing to give answers.

Worst Surprise - Sarah didn't actually die / Narvik is still around

Screencaps by Zap2It, Den of Geek, Lady Geek Girl, TV News Reviews, Monsters and Critics, Fanshare, and Wall Wide HD.

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for Sleepy Hollow, Arrow, White Collar, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, co-hosts the Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group, and guests on ArrowCast for DVMPE. Currently she is writing a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."