"OH...STRANGE MAN...T**** BAR...A GREAT INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY...BEAUTY PAGEANT!"
Nothing's more inspiring than finding awful things that we Americans do and then twisting them around to be the patriotic! The more Frank tried to look less creepy, the more he looked like some kind of psychopath. I love the whole part where these women leave their children in a bar with these sociopaths! Nothing like snarky little brats filling a bar while an obese man sucks down pizza and wheezes to himself tragically.
So who's participating in this pageant? A snippy little "star," a yankee doodle dandy boy, a random prostitute's handling the soundboard, and there's a delusional mortician lurking around with a dry mouth... So, there's that. Meanwhile, the true story is how the gang does their very best to take the children out of the equation and make the entire show all about themselves! So it's pretty much exactly what they're always up to!
Meanwhile, Frank just becomes increasingly disturbing to behold, as he repeats to the crowd how "legitimate" his "kid show" is... Sweet Dee airs out her mommy issues in a crass performance, but they still manage to save the most uncomfortably funny parts for the end!
Stick around for the big twist at the end as well!
WATCH IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, TONIGHT @10PM ON FX!
"I'M NOT GONNA DIDDLE YOUR KIDS!"
I give this episode THREE OUT OF FIVE TINY TIARAS.
