Previously on Teen Wolf, Scott and Allison emoangsted about their stamina in keeping apart and how truly awful their commitment to being the single most star-crossed couple on TV was, Derek held the exposition baton to explain that Alphas are powerfully scary, a blind dude (Deucalion) ruled them all, some kick butt, motorcycle stunt driver chick saved Isaac providing the premiere's biggest questions, and she gave Allison and Lydia bruise tattoo clues because she's awesome that way. Here's hoping she's not actually dead because she's the most intriguing character so far this season.
Stiles' friend Heather apparently invited him for a booty call because she refuses to be a 17 year old virgin. Word to the Wise Friend has it right, girl. First time is never on the plus side. Why ruin your birthday? I like W2W Friend; she eye rolls in all the right places. Still no one listens to wisdom after a few rounds of beer pong, so Stiles is shocked when she greets him with a kiss. They're after some "wine" and poor Scott is left alone in a party of strangers. First time I've felt sorry for you this season, buddy. That sucks out loud, especially when W2W rejects you. Scott is of course saved when his phone rings. It's….Allison. I know you're shocked too. They didn't even get to the commercial break. Meanwhile Heather lays her seductive trap for Stiles among the wine, which goes basically like "I don't want to be a virgin. Let's do it. You wanna?" Stiles wanna. Their romantic interlude is stymied by lack of a condom, which has me wondering what teenager goes to a party sans condom. He may not think he's going to have sex, but safety first folks. Yet it is Ye Olde Condom of Plot Device, so commonsense be damned. How else could they get the horny girl alone in the basement AND give us Stiles comedy? Don't worry though all the future horror and fun grinds to a screaming halt so Scott and Allison can trade brooding looks over the Bruise of Impending Doom. Luckily Teen Wolf keeps its contract with me where no woeful, tragic love fest can last longer than 1 minute and this one is shorter than most. We quickly return to Stiles ransacking the tiny bathroom. He scores only to get mired in self-doubt since the box says XXL. Not that Miss Heather is going to mind since she is currently alone in the basement….barefoot. Nothing good comes of barefooted horny teens in spookily lit places. 250 broken wine bottles and one self-opening window later, bye bye Heather. See you in wolf form later? Running is always better than screaming but of course when the whole thing's in your head, perhaps neither work. A disappointed Stiles heads to the basement to find only a missing shoe - no glass, no girl.
Meanwhile Stiles worries over Heather, his preschool bathing buddy, but neither Scott nor Stiles has a clue what's going on. Join the club boys. New and improved Scott knows someone who might though and 3 seconds later there is a bathtub full of ice. Huh? This show lives to confuse but the shot panning through the tub water was awesome! Kudos to the director and welcome Vet Boss, you are always a delight. Plan B is to freeze Isaac near death to put him in a trance. Didn't know you could get that cold in a bathtub, but if I were Isaac I'd join Jackson in London. He's this year's punching bag. Derek and Scott are concerned; Isaac wants to make sure it's safe. Doc: "Do you want me to answer honestly?" Yikes! The pulsing electronica music of increased anxiety doesn't even slow down enough for me to laugh at Stiles being an idiot. It's like a hospital monitor put through a synthesizer. Argh! Derek: "Look if it feels too risky, you don't have to do this." Aww, I like new and improved Derek. Isaac responds by getting half naked. It's the Teen Wolf hero way. Derek, Scott, and Stiles hold a partially wolfed out Isaac underwater and there's another awesome shot of Isaac's body slowing rising in the water. Doc asks about Erica and Boyd but apparently werewolves have the same abilities as ghosts, and the lights start flickering in Isaac's distress. I'm guessing the thunder claps are coincidence or else betas should take their show on the road. (Note - Isaac does a good vampire impersonation with that pale skin and chiseled cheekbones. Derek on the other hand is very hairy.) Isaac says Erica and Boyd are afraid of killing each other on the full moon, and they're being kept in a bank vault. Everyone stares at him and I get the feeling I've missed something too. Thankfully Stiles fills us in. Shoeless Wolf dragged Isaac into a room with Erica's body. SPOILER SPOILER - I saw the picture Gage posted so I am very suspicious of this turn of events. Smart way to get around not having her on set though. Derek refuses to believe Erica's dead; guess he saw the picture too. END SPOILER
Meanwhile Allison's still schlepping Lydia to school after the deer incident last week, but she scoffs at
Allison's effective research. Lydia: "So mystery girl leaves a bruise on our arm that turns out to be the logo for a bank. What's she trying to do? Give us investment advice." Mock now Lydia, but while you're asleep, best friend's doing her best to get killed. Well after she catches us up on the exposition we learned earlier of course. Allison has her own bank entry plan, which includes bolt cutters. Somehow I don't think that's what her dad had in mind when he told her to get a new non-hunting hobby. Now Allison, you and I both want you to become the kick butt hunter we both know you are destined to be, but criminal issues aside, it's just plain foolish to break into a bank without telling anyone where you are going AND not bringing a weapon that can take down the forces of evil. You know they're out there and strangely attracted to Scott. Following obscure clues from someone who was looking for your ex requires extra firepower. And speaking of criminal acts, how exactly did Stiles get blueprints for a bank on such short notice? Essentially their plan is to squeeze through a ventilation shaft and punch their way in. That should be nice and quiet. Stiles questions Derek's ability to gather enough force to actually punch through the wall. Stiles' hand wishes his mouth would shut up. That settled Derek needs a crew, but Peter doesn't like the odds. He lays out the insurmountable odds in case the music hasn't clued us in that it's dangerous. Peter: "Do I have to remind you what we're up against here. A pack of alphas, all of them killers and if that's enough to scare your testicles back into your stomach, try to remember that two of them combine bodies to form one giant alpha." Yeah, I still don't get that. Stiles: "Can someone kill him again please?" BWAH!!! Stiles volunteers, but it's Scott that steps up for the rescue.
Overall this was another fun, fast-paced episode of Teen Wolf. It had a lot of great lines and kept the mystery going while still giving us some answers. The logic of some of the plots may not always make sense but the strength of the characters and breathtaking pace far outweigh that. So far season 3 is shaping up be another exciting adventure.
Best Scene - Tie: Derek and Isaac talking behind Peter's back & Peter and Stiles talking wolf dens
Best Surprise (for those of us who don't do spoilers) - Cora
Best Lines - Derek: "We don't like you. Now shut up and help us."
Peter: "They're werewolves not Bond villains."
Coach: "Stilinski I think you dropped this. Congratulations."
Stiles: "Can someone kill him again please?"
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