The season premiere of Justified starts like another day in 1983, a newspaper is delivered, a man goes to retrieve it bitching at his wife who gives as good as she gets, a man wearing a parachute falls from the sky with bundles of cocaine; you know, the usual. Is it any surprise then that Raylan would be sleeping at his desk 30 years later? He picks up his cell and who should be on the other line but a bail bondswoman. Yep, she’s attractive so yeah, he slept with her (providing a funny but oddly unsnapable moment between the two). She offers him three grand to go after a man who jump his bail from Tennessee. Raylan agrees to take the case and tells Rachel nothing of where he goes.
Jody, the bail jumper, comes by his ex’s place and tries to bribe her with fast food toys. Immediately he starts off of on the wrong foot with Raylan, who resorts to punching the man’s car window to have a decent chat and point a gun in his face. Like someone who’s never gone up against Raylan before, Jody is unimpressed by Raylan’s gun so Raylan does the logical thing and shoots the man’s airbag. It deploys and Raylan calls the bondswoman back saying he’ll just bring the guy in.
Next morning one of Ellen May’s clients thought that it would be a good idea to get her high and dress as a bear. That ends about as well as expected. Raylan visits Constable Bob, who explains his sudden appearance by motion detector and Raylan quips he can’t cover the whole in the wall “the smell of baking cookies”. He retells Constable’s Bob apparently oft told story of putting a guy in a coma in shop class before finding a bag with Waldo Truth’s driver’s license in it. Raylan opens the trunk to put the bag in and tell Jody that if he’s good, he’ll let him back up front.
At Audrey’s Ava says Ellen May’s client is unlikely to press charges because of his position and asks her why she has a gun. Ellen May says that clients and “not just clients” hit her. Ava responds that she only hit her once and that she had saved Ellen May’s life. They have “the drug talk” and the “no guns at work” talk.
Raylan goes to a hardware store to try and get some stuff to fix up Arlo’s house and ends up being flashed by the teen girl who broke into his house and then offered him a screw. Settle down, she dropped a box of them on the floor. Raylan squeezes past her to leave and is unimpressed by her relatively new boobs unlike the hardware store owner who let her slip out the back because a second flash.
Boyd introduces the man as his former sergeant, Colton Rhoades in Kuwait, who jailed Boyd no less than five times.
Raylan’s figured out that they didn’t want the wire and they didn’t want the car, they only wanted the bag from the wall and he wants to know why. Later at his house, Raylan gives Bob a box of family photographs to look after and bob isn’t happy that Raylan called him only because he thought he had no other option and Raylan explains it was for the baby. Driving Jody back to Tennessee, the instruction is the same “Not a word” but the result is different.
Raylan goes to see Arlo in prison and Arlo tries to give him advice on how to sell his house revealing that they’ll be splitting the profits. “Maybe I’m listing it wrong; two story three bedroom country fixer upper holes in the wall missin a door?”
Hiram sits taped in a chair with a firecracker in his lap and claims that he doesn’t have Boyd’s money. “Truth always sounds like lies to a sinner.” Where have I heard that line before….? Boyd remembers.
Raylan walks into Lindsey’s bar and finds her in his room flossing her teeth. He sticks his money in a drawer and tries to persuade her to not go back down stairs. Who could resist? Boyd on the other hand stores his money in the drop ceiling and contemplates the new church.
Preacher Billy insists that his congregation are science followers. And proceeds to tell them of the two times he’s been bitten by his poisonous snakes. Once was justified and the second a mystery. He tells also that his father and his father’s father were killed by snake bites. He then asks the congregation, including Ellen May, why they came.
In prison, Arlo is talked to by the man in charge of the books who knows the value of the bag Raylan brought in. Arlo asks for a book and slits the man’s throat when he goes to get it for him before lying back in his cot and waiting for the guards.
Next week: Where’s Waldo