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American Housewife - Mother's Little Helper - Review: "Cheeseburger Larry"

19 Mar 2021

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On this week's American Housewife, Katie reunites with a dear friend who helps her and Greg deal with a parental dilemma they definitely DIDN'T see coming. 

Taylor, Oliver, and Cooper are spending breakfast cracking jokes at Greg's expense when Katie comes in - and this time, she isn't even mad they didn't wait for her to start making fun of Greg. She's too busy being excited- having just found out that Tami, her best friend from her old neighborhood and former mentor in all things parenthood, will be moving to Westport!

Later, Katie excitedly introduces Tammy on the vlog. The two waste not a second catching up on lost time by going down to Oliver's and Cooper's luxury basement apartment and trying out all the fancy gadgets. While trying to figure out which remote controls the massage chair, they're surprised when one of the remotes reveals a moving kitchen counter. Tami and Katie are even more shocked when they see what's hiding under the moving counter. Turns out Oliver and Cooper have been harboring a booze collection that would make my Irish-Italian grandparents proud! 

While Katie (and Greg) are keen to charge full speed ahead with confronting Oliver and Cooper and punishing them within an inch of their lives (They're already researching shady military schools to ship them off to!), Tami suggests they play the long game and let Oliver and Cooper discover for themselves that they've been found out. After all, one of the worst possible punishments is simply letting them squirm while they wait for Katie and Greg to reveal that they know. So Katie leaves a "clue" in the secret cabinet to tip them off she's been there - a Walgreens coupon for 50 cents off Chapstick. Yeah, that's definitely not something Oliver and Cooper would have! 

Meanwhile, Anna-Kat tells Katie that she doesn't want to keep being in the vlog. Some of the kids at school have found it and are making fun of Anna-Kat for all the embarrassing stories Katie's telling about her online, but Katie's not too concerned, so she switches to attempting to discreetly film Anna-Kat instead. Unfortunately for her, being discreet is NOT a talent of Katie's, and Anna-Kat and Franklin quickly discover her new trick. An always prepared Franklin whips out his briefcase and serves Katie with a cease-and-desist order stating she's no longer allowed to use pictures or videos of Anna-Kat without her express written consent. (If you're wondering where Franklin got a cease-and-desist order, apparently his mom's cult leader keeps a stack of them on his desk. There have been some issues with him using Taylor Swift's music in his recruitment videos!) 

The next morning, a nervous-out-of-their-minds Oliver and Cooper appear and happily volunteer to deep clean the kitchen. Tami's plan reveals itself and is coming together perfectly. First Oliver and Cooper will be so desperate to lessen their eventual punishment that they'll do whatever they can think of to get on Katie's "good side." They'll also start automatically associating alcohol with stress and avoid it more in the future. Finally, they'll feel so guilty that they'll eventually admit what they've done, and Katie and Greg will be left with a bar's worth of top-shelf liquor to keep for themselves (and share with Tami, of course!). 

With Oliver and Cooper taken care of, Katie asks Tami what to do about Anna-Kat refusing to appear in the vlog. Tami volunteers her 8-year-old Grace as a substitute, which Katie happily accepts.

At Greg and Taylor's university, Taylor seeks out a ride home because Greg has a "faculty meeting," only to discover that his supposed "meeting" is actually his weekly standing performance with his secret history-themed rock band of professors - "Paul Revere and the Graders." Yeah, you read that right. Greg's in a secret dork band. 

The next day, Katie gets ready to film her vlog with Grace. Anna-Kat warns her that Grace is secretly a "psycho" and has been doing mean things when Katie isn't looking. Katie refuses to believe her and accuses her of being jealous of Grace. 

Katie should have taken Anna-Kat a bit more seriously though. When she starts the vlog, Grace not only refuses to eat her homemade snack, but she feeds it to Luther! (She said she wanted cake, yall!) And just to solidify her mean girl streak, Grace finishes the rest of the snack off by smearing it all over the laptop. Tami may be an expert at parenting other people's children, but her own child is a little holy terror!

When Tami comes over, Katie tells her about Grace's behavior. Turns out, Tami already knows! She actually sent her over to Katie's because she needed a break from the little monster. Tami explains that by the time Grace was born (after she thought she was done raising kids), she was exhausted. And when Grace started acting out, she didn't have the energy to get ahead of it. Now, nothing Tami does can stop Grace from misbehaving. (And she's built up a tolerance for antihistamines, so drugging her is out of the question!) 

Katie reminds Tami of one of the many parenting rules she instilled in her - "Rule #17 - Pretend to take away something they love and if they start to cry, then you know it's working." So, with Katie's help, Tami gets ready to put her own parenting tips to the test. The two threaten to not let Grace play with Luther anymore and faced with the possibility of losing her new friend - she backtracks and apologizes for not listening. Tami's shocked, but nevertheless thrilled! 

In the car, Greg finally asks Taylor why she hasn't told everyone about his secret band yet. Taylor says it's because she's waiting for everyone to be in the same room. Greg says the reason he kept the band a secret is because he gets mocked about everything he does by the rest of the family. Taylor seems to understand Greg's side, and comments that making fun of him isn't nearly as enjoyable when he makes her see him as an actual "person."

At home, Katie apologizes to Anna-Kat for making her appear in the videos. Anna-Kat tells her she doesn't mind being in the videos, she just wishes that all the stories Katie shared with the vlog about her weren't embarrassing ones. Katie agrees to let Anna-Kat have the final say about what she shares in the future. 

Downstairs, Oliver and Cooper are so consumed with guilt that they finally decide to fess up. They admit to Katie and Greg that they know the two found out about their bar and beg them to go ahead and just get the punishment over with. Katie and Greg happily tell them they'll be taking the alcohol off their hands, just so as not to "tempt" them in the future. Unfortunately for Katie and Greg, Oliver and Cooper felt so guilty that they already poured everything out. Turns out Katie and Greg won't be getting that fancy booze collection after all. 

Random thoughts:
-Only Greg would try to make friends with Oliver and Cooper's Japanese toilet! 

-I'm actually impressed with Greg's music taste - Jefferson Starship for the win.

-Taylor joining her father's band on stage at the end was hilarious - especially when she upstaged the lead singer! 

-The best line goes to the entirety of Greg's band's insanely nerdy song "Getting Readysburg for Gettysburg."

What do you think of Tammy? Will there ever be a mention of where Angela went? Since the exit of her actress and Tammy's introduction, it seems like the writers are trying awful hard to inconspicuously swap her out with a new bestie for Katie. Let me know your thoughts below.