Umm… I don’t know how to say this, but brace yourself for the CREEPIEST. MOST DISTURBING. GROSSEST. EPISODE. EVER.
We see a guy strapped into a frame onstage in a theater. A man in an executioner’s mask wakes him up and props him up for the audience to see him - the audience, by the way, is filled with rows of people in full masks, passively watching what’s about to happen.
Based on the ominous music, nothing great.
The executioner turns on some creepy music and says they all get to make a man bear witness to his own suffering, which will lead them closer to God’s truth.
You know, I’ve read the Bible, and it does not say anything about strapping a man down and pulling out a bunch of tools and turning on a saw in order to CUT A MAN INTO PIECES IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE in order to learn God’s truth. It really just focuses on eating a piece of fruit.
The poor man at the center of this horror show screams for help, saying that he’s Leitunant Commander Timothy Weir.
Well, I guess we have our victim for the week.
Dang, NCIS: LA writers. That was… I mean, dang.
After the credits roll and we’re reminded that this show is fun and not AWFUL like we just witnessed, we see Kensi and Deeks coming in to work, bickering about details for their upcoming wedding. Kensi doesn’t want it to just be “her day,” she wants to be partners in their wedding day like they are in everything. Since Deeks is super romantic and basically says the only thing he cares about is getting to marry her, she gives in and admits that she doesn’t care about most of the details, either. But she does not help organizing, which he’s happy to do.
They see Callen and Sam staring at Mosley’s glass office with rapt attention where Mosley and Hetty are obviously arguing about something. When Eric comes to collect the team - excluding Callen - they figure the fight must be about firing their leader. As they head into the briefing, Sam makes sure his partner knows that if Callen goes, they both go. Shortly after, Callen grabs Hetty to ask what’s going on, and she remarks that it’s “difficult to say.” So it’s a mess, basically.
Once in Ops, we learn that Nell thinks Hidoko is there to replace her, since she’s running the briefings now. This briefing is about a missing Navy Intelligence officer named - surprise! - Timothy Weir. Since he’s privy to classified intel on China and North Korea, he needs to be found, ASAP.
As they break, Sam starts to issue orders, but Hidoko interrupts with her own orders. “I guess we can all be replaced,” Sam smiles.
The team starts scraping Weir’s info and find that his last calls were to AAA and to a Mandy Wang who works for the Chinese consulate. At this moment, Mosley calls into Ops through Skype - LADY, YOU’RE IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR - to tell them that for now, Deeks is working with Hidoko and Kensi working with Sam. Callen will not be involved in this case. You can imagine how happy everyone is to be broken up from their partners.
Callen goes to Mosley’s ridiculous office to see what’s going on and she springs the big surprise on him: Callen is going to be partnered with her now. Um. Well, this seems … ill-advised.
She explains that they’re going to assist the ATF in arresting an international arms dealer, Spencer Williams. Callen’s still trying to figure out why they’re working together, but he’s drawn into the case. During all of this, the camera takes a moment to focus on Mosley’s mouse, which is essentially a silver knob. Weird.
Kensi and Sam are visiting the auto shop that did the AAA tow for Weir, and Kensi really doesn’t like that Sam drove. Everyone at the tow shop is crazy friendly and helpful and tell Kensi and Sam that Bobby Allen was the two guy for the job. A part of me thinks maybe the receptionist woman is too friendly and helpful, but I think I’m just imagining things.
Checking on in the other partners, Deeks is trying to figure out how Hidoko got her name. He wants to get to know her if they’re going to be partners, but she doesn’t know why that’s necessary. Eric and Nell - the only partners who haven’t been split up (yet) - call in to let Deeks know that they have photographic evidence of Mandy Wang and Weir’s romantic rendezvous.
Deeks and Hidoko visit Wang and she freaks out because she, working for the Chinese consulate, is not supposed to date someone in the US Navy. She hasn’t heard from Wang since their call the night before and has no idea why he’d disappear. After the new partners leave, they jump into their very inconspicuous giant red truck to stake her out.
Back at the tow shop, Bobby Allen has finally returned and he’s the opposite of his coworkers - creepy and not friendly at all. Kensi and Sam have a sixth sense about this sort of thing and immediately notice something’s not good, so they send his picture to Eric.
Surprise! His name is actually Robert Griffin, who was convicted of murder when he was younger because he CUT A WOMAN INTO PIECES. He served 19 years in jail. SURE. BECAUSE IT’S TOTALLY FINE TO LET A GUY LIKE THAT BACK OUT INTO THE WORLD.
Griffin explains he was a kid in meth when that happened and he’s just trying to get a second chance. I almost feel bad for him, but then I remember that he CUT A WOMAN INTO PIECES. But the story he tells about towing Weird sounds legit. And his co-workers reported that customers never had any problems with him.
Creepy ex-murderer looks vaguely like Steven Tyler, btw.
Mosley has not cooled down on this whole Williams thing at ALL. She goes up to Swan and straight-up throws the unbelievably recent murder of her colleague in her face and attacks all of her choices. Swan finally gets fed up and reminds her that Mosley is there as a guest and needs to take a chill pill.
Since the number one priority is to get the weapons, Callen suggests using his connections to go undercover on the deal. There’s one caveat: If he does this, he needs to know what Mosley’s not telling him. Turns out, public enemy numero uno is Mosley’s ex. Well, well, well. Callen understands what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t who they say they are, so he’s on board.
While waiting in the car, Deeks is trying to bond with Hidoko. He makes it clear everyone likes her. “I know I’m liked and respected, but I’m a package deal with Mosley,” she says. And she’s fine being attached to someone no one likes. Mosley is her mentor and has done a lot for her, so she’s loyal and happy to go do with Mosley if it comes to it.
Okay then.
This revelation is interrupted by Wang peeling out of her apartment, so they pursue. Again, in the world’s most OBVIOUS siren red giant truck.
At the auto shop, Kensi is talking to the MURDERER and he’s bemoaning a fact that guys like him don’t get a second chance. Dude, you CUT A PERSON INTO PIECES. You didn’t just miss a red light and cause a fatal accident - which is obviously also awful - but you get what I’m saying. You cut. A person. INTO PIECES.
Creeper.
Speaking of creeper, um… Y’all may need to brace yourself for this next part. Dekes and Hidoko have followed Wang to the Los Angeles Theater. They follow her in - it’s very, very beautiful inside - and right before they’re about to enter the actual theater itself, Wang runs out into the lobby, absolutely hysterical. She falls to her knees, sobbing. She’s in complete shock.
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, this is the theater from the intro. She saw him. She saw him on the stage, all mutilated.
Deeks and Hidoko leave her in the lobby to go inside to see what she saw, and he’s still there, on the stage. And… OH, THIS IS CREEPY. OH IT’S SO CREEPY. OH MY GOSH.
OH MY GOSH THEY CUT HIM UP AND SEWED HIM BACK UP IN PIECES. OH IT’S SO CREEPY. AND IT’S PIECES OF OTHER BODIES SEWN TOGETHER. THIS IS THE MOST DISTURBING THING I’VE EVER SEEN.
“What the hell…” Deeks appropriately responds. “This is the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen,” Hidoko agrees.
Cops and paramedics swarm the theater and we discover the Frankenstein’s monster on the stage is made of at least 5 different people’s body parts sewn together.
Deeks and Hidoko speak with Wang, who is still in shock, but she’s aware enough to suddenly starts speaking in an American accent and confess that she’s actually an NSA agent. She tracked Weir using an implanted tracker, then she directs them to speak to Jordan Davis, her handler.
Weir was her partner… and it turned into something more. She’s sobbing and this is hitting Deeks hard.
In all of this, there’s a weird one-off scene of Hetty standing alone in the middle of a room, talking to them on coms. That was bizarre.
He gets into the group with ease, so he’ll be a part of the next weapons buy.
At the auto shop, Kensi and Sam are looking through pictures Deeks and Hidoko sent them of the disgusting monster body, fired up to talk to our friendly neighborhood murderer again. But before they can pin him to this kill, the FBI calls in with security footage that shows him at the auto shop during the murder. So it wasn’t him. The whole auto shop was a red herring.
Back at the theater, everyone is watching security footage of the theater, which shows dozens of people in masks filing in to watch the murder. Turns out, the FBI has been following a similar case. Special Agent Rand calls in to say they’ve found two “Frankenstein bodies” (quick English major’s reminder that Frankenstein was the doctor,) made up over 4 bodies each. The murderers sell tickets to attend dismemberments on the dark web and making a lot of money. “The producers of murder have become more elaborate, almost like performance art.”
So it’s a team of serial killers working on this. This is so twisted.
But since this is a serial killer operating across state lines, this is the FBI’s case now. And everyone seems beyond thrilled that they don’t have to face this evil anymore.
Everyone except me, that is, WHO WOULD REALLY LIKE A RESOLUTION FOR THIS. I’m assuming this is going to be something we revisit for the season finale.
Trucks pull up with the weapons and ATF says it’s finally time to go in. They save the weapons and shut down the deal, and Mosley calls the FBI in hopes they can take down Williams’ plane. But they lose him in LAX, so a panicked Mosley calls SecNav.
When she returns to the office, Hetty is waiting in Mosley’s glass chamber to talk some sense into her. But Mosley beats her to it by dropping the bomb, “We had Williams and Callen let him go.”
…Or you could start with that. Which, to be fair, is something they need to discuss. “You have to be honest with your team,” Hetty drills into her. Mosley wants to find Williams and Hetty insists that this team can do that, she just has to trust them.
In one of the only funny moments of this super heavy episode, the entire team has packed up their bags for the day and are set to leave, but Mosley calls Callen up into her office. So everyone drops their bags on their desks and basically grab some popcorn. “Yeah, I’m not missing this,” Deeks says for all of them.
Callen enters the Glass Chamber of Importance where Mosley offers him a drink. Callen is surprised, he didn’t even know she drank. He’s surprised again when Mosley starts the conversation with a compliment. “You are the best agent I’ve ever worked with, and I needed the best.” And then we’re just getting the triple crown of surprises when Mosley reveals that she wasn’t just in a relationship with Williams, they had a son together. WOW. I did not expect that. Williams took their son, Derrick, and it’s been five years since she’s seen him.
Okay. So THAT’S why she was so intent on getting Williams.
Callen may not like Mosley, but he’s a good man and a good agent. “I will do everything I can to help you get your son back,” he promises as Mosley tears up.
I bet you this is how the character of Mosley leaves after this season. They find her son and she leaves to spend time with him. (FYI, I don’t know of any reports that she will leave after the season or anything, I’m just hypothesizing how they could get Hetty back in charge.)
Time to wrap up the episode WITH THE CREEPIEST, MOST AMAZING TWIST. Eric calls everyone into Ops. The FBI ID’d some of the body parts. They were from the two owners and two employees of the auto body shop. OH MY GOSH.
SO THE FOUR PEOPLE THEY SPOKE TO AT THE BODY SHOP ARE THE REAL KILLERS. THEY HAD THEM. OH MY GOSH. THAT’S SO CREEPY. THE TEAM HAD THEM THE WHOLE TIME. THE MURDERERS STAGED THE WHOLE THING AFTER KILLING THE REAL EMPLOYEES.
The team rushes to the body shop, where they find… another Franked-out body. It’s hard to tell, but I think some of the parts may have included the female auto body receptionist, but I can’t tell for sure.
Oh this is disgusting. And obviously going to be the finale plot line.
