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Scorpion - The Bunker Games - Review: "Hell-fire Rains Down"

24 Jan 2018

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First came the U-Dog (later rechristened the Walter O'Brien Center-Cut Meat Cube). Then, came the Walteration One. When this week's Scorpion picks up, Walter's showing off his new AI (It's Siri on steroids.) and scaring Cabe with it. (He's predicting rise of the machines!) Speaking of Cabe, now that his charges have been dropped, he has to again pass the physical fitness tests for Homeland agents. Although he complains the tests are for people 30 years younger than him, Paige makes it her mission to get him ready and the two set out to get in shape.

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew (plus Florence) is heading off to inspect one of those doomsday bunkers that super-rich people plan to wait out the apocalypse in. Apparently, they already have a behaviorist on staff, so Toby is told to stay home. He's already in a bad mood and this just makes it worse. He and Happy finally went on their honeymoon, but they ran into a string of problems, culminating with Toby's apparent inability to "raise the curtain" on the "baby-making show."

Once at the bunker, the team is in for a sour surprise. Apparently, that behaviorist already on staff is Quincy Burkstead aka Toby's nemesis/the guy who stole his ex-fiance. Although the team at first refuses to work with him, he offers to double their fee and in Happy's words "Screw [Toby's] feelings, we need a bedroom set!"

Once they pass through an IA named Dor
ie who runs each of their faces, the team goes inside the bunker, where they're met by Quincy's wife/Toby's ex-fiance/probable model Amy. And then Toby shows up. Determined to find out who exactly he's been replaced by, he throws a scarf over his face and tricks Dorie into letting him in. The only problem is that when testing out Dorie's threat recognition system, Quincy programmed Toby as a threat (Sweet, right?) and when he takes off the scarf, Dorie locks them all in, intent on "solving" the problem of Toby.

There's no cell service, but Walter's able to get through to Paige and Cabe on the emergency phone before Dorie shuts that down too. Amy realizes they can use the trash compactor hydraulics to force the door open and the team goes to work on their escape while they wait for help to arrive. Toby's job is to get down in the trash compactor and unscrew the maintenance panel. Unfortunately, Dorie seizes Toby's being in the trash compactor as the opportunity she needs to crush him and "eliminate the threat."

Outside, Cabe and Paige try to find the creator of the bunker. They find him alright. He's a shotgun-wielding recluse who ties them up and threatens to kill them.

Back in the bunker, the team works to shut down the trash compactor. Happy's able to take out the trash compactor controls, but for a moment it seems like its too late. When Walter and Happy rush into the opened compactor to try and save Toby, they find him hiding out in a drain under the compactor that he'd found at the last moment. Although Toby's safe, Happy knocking out the trash compactor kills their hydraulics plan and sets them back at square one.

Paige and Cabe are busy trying to convince Mr. Doomsday not to kill them and actually help them retrieve the team. Paige is finally able to win him over by giving him the same speech she gave Cabe about how she know's he's scared that he's being replaced by a younger generation and their superior abilities. He explains that there's a secret entrance above the exhaust shaft. They can throw a rope down this shaft and the team can climb up. To do that though, they're going to need to get a message to the team telling them where the secret entrance is. Mr. Doomsday is able to accomplish this by hacking the bunker microwave and sending a message through its interface.

Just when the team thinks they're in the clear, Dorie executes Protocol Two, which is apparently offensive, activating an invisible gas that will kill Paige and Cabe the second they arrive topside. The team figures out they can save Cabe and Paige by Florence mixing up a base to neutralize the acidic environment the toxin needs and Happy building a valve to send the base neutralizer into the toxin chamber.

While working to build the valve, Happy and Amy end up having a heart-to-heart and Amy relieves that she doesn't have the perfect life it seems like because Quincy has always put her after his work. Walter stays busy trying to avoid Flo as much as possible, still feeling guilty the dreaming he was married to her. Toby and Quincy are supposed to be working together to unscrew the access to the toxin chamber, but Quincy pisses Toby off by bringing up his "lack of performance" on his honeymoon (which just about everyone trapped in the bunker has somehow heard about by now) and Toby ends up stripping the bolt to the access in anger.

With the hole too big to patch, they now have to not only worry about the gas getting to Cabe and Paige outside but getting to them inside. The team realizes that the key to stopping the gas lies in Sly tricking Dorie's system with an unsolvable riddle and distracting her long enough to get Quincy topside, where he can use his gastro-print (which I take to be big fancy wording for his breath) to access the main computer and shut Dorie down.

Of course, this is when Quincy chooses to live up to the nickname Toby gave him (Wimpy) and locks himself in an airtight room where he'll be safe from the gas, leaving everyone else (including his wife Amy) out to dry. Walter realizes that they can still retrieve his gastro-print, even without him, because he's locked himself in an airtight room.

Cabe and Paige finally arrive and discover another problem - an electric fence surrounding the secret entrance. Paige reasons that if Cabe can throw his para-shoot from training over the fence and into the exhaust shaft, someone can use it to float up and (hopefully) over the fence with the airtight container containing Quincy's gastro-print. Toby's given this task and he makes it over the fence! And right into a face-plant of Cabe and Paige's car...

With Sly having finally tricked Dorie into a riddle she can't solve, Toby is able to make it over the fence and use Quincy's gastro-print to turn off the gas and open the door. The team (plus Amy, who seems to have no intentions of giving Wimpy another chance) quickly head off, leaving him with just
Dorie for companionship!

Back at the garage, Toby assures Walter that he has no reason to feel guilty about dreaming about Florence. Because she was the one there trying to save him, it makes sense that she would become an integral part of his dream. He also tells Walter that the best way to get around his awkwardness with Flo is just to tell her about his dream and move on. Florence is, understandably, a little weirded out, but Walter seems to feel much better. As he goes to settle in for a movie with Paige, he mentions his dream. This illicit-es a "WHAT!?!?" from Paige. Dun...Dun...Dun.

Random Thoughts:
-Cabe's attempts at para-shoot training were hilarious.

-I love the face Happy made when Dorie brought up her pop star career!

-Best lines go to Walter and Toby after Toby almost gets crushed in the trash compactor and is in the sewage drain. "We have bigger problems than your inability to perform your marital duties!" "Just leave me in here."

What do you think's going to happen next with Walter and Paige? Is Cabe going to pass his physical exam? Let me know below!