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Brooklyn Nine-Nine - 9 Days - Review

25 Jan 2016

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This week we learned a few very important things from Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Amy is so bad at cooking that she doesn’t even know what a proper recipe would look like, Boyle was very attached to his frequently-humping canine pal, and neither Captain Holt nor Jake have had the mumps vaccine.

First things first, let’s talk about the mumps. Although it’s hard to imagine that neither detective has had a) mumps or b) the MMR vaccine, I think we can all suspend our disbelief for the sake of comedy. After all, the Nine-Nine has annual Halloween heists, Jake went undercover in the mob, and Scully and Hitchcock are still employed at the Nine-Nine -- clearly, realism is not the name of the game here. So poor vulnerable Holt and Jake find themselves quarantined with a case of the mumps after reopening a cold case of Jake’s (in an attempt to cheer Holt up with Kevin in Paris). They decide to quarantine together at Holt’s house, so that they can work on the case, and share in their misery as their various…lumps…cause them a great deal of pain.

The two detectives, along with their disgusting goiters, Simon and Balthazar, fight through a fever-induced haze in order to solve the case. Drunk on cold medicine they screen security camera footage and find that Garibaldi (the missing mafia lieutenant) slipped something to the chef at the restaurant the FBI had staked out many years ago. They get ready to go out and find the paper when Amy comes over and stops them from leaving, even bundled up with surgical masks and oven mitts -- besides, they don’t need to go find the paper, it’s a recipe, and it’s been taped to the wall the whole time. After Amy persuades him, Jake reveals to Holt that the case isn’t perhaps as urgent as he thought, in fact, it was just something Jake dug up to keep him busy. Holt gets angry that Jake dug up a pity case for him, and the two take naps, and then wake up to angrily poke the other’s mumps. Amy swings by to show Holt that they weren’t pitying him, they were trying to help out a friend, and make the him and Jake some baked ziti with Garibaldi’s recipe. They quickly discover that the note is not a recipe (due to the 7 cups of salt, 18 cups of oregano, and 9 onions involved), instead it’s a code, for a phone number! The number’s still active, and a SWAT team picks up Garibaldi as Jake and Holt end their quarantine. Holt thanks Jake for helping him feel less lonely, and for all he did to get Holt back at the Nine-Nine.

This was definitely the funniest episode I’ve ever seen about the mumps (and admittedly the only, but still), probably due to the fact that between the copious amount of cold medicine and the fever delirium, Jake and Holt basically acted drunk the whole time. Drunk with giant goiters. So, naturally it was the perfect set-up for hilarity. And thanks to some horrendous cooking on Amy’s part, they actually managed to solve the case! I think that the lesson here is pretty clear -- don’t let the mumps hold you back, folks, you can find a long lost Mafioso, even with extremely swollen parotid glands. It was great to see the Jake/Holt showdown while the pair were less inhibited than usual, as it allowed Holt to express his frustration with his co-workers’ pity in a way he probably wouldn’t have done if not ill. And this uninhibited manner and mild lunacy that came with the mumps let us see a fantastically undone version of Holt, as he scribbled “kase” in cursive on the window, and introduced us to his goiters.

Though Jake and Holt are not having such a great time physically, Boyle’s having a bit of a rough time emotionally, as his dog Jason just died. (As part of his mourning, it appears that he’s also taken to wearing a black turtleneck. Everyone grieves in his or her own way.) As a non-pet owner, Rosa can’t understand his profound and lasting sadness after the event, and can’t seem to break him out of his funk enough to get him to work a case with her. She eventually tries to help him by getting him a new dog to cheer him up, but Boyle doesn’t want to replace his late beloved Jason. Now stuck with a new puppy of her own, Rosa realizes the attachment between person and pet, and holds a little funeral for Jason in the briefing room, which includes a loving video of Jason humping a variety of things, while Scully sings “Ave Maria.”

It’s hard for me to evaluate this storyline as someone whose only experience with a pet involves a tadpole in a bucket, but as a human being with feelings I can imagine that it’s difficult to say goodbye to a pet with whom you’ve formed a bond -- especially if they’ve been with you through a difficult time. It is slightly hard to imagine Boyle avoiding casework for around a week due to mourning, but I guess that’s Boyle for you. He feels big, and sometimes that’s a good thing, like when he’ll do anything to help out a friend, and sometimes that’s not so good, like when he avoid investigating B&Es in order to make an in memoriam video about his dog. It was nice to see Rosa step up to help out Boyle, and soften her motorcycle helmet of a heart for a moment, and deliver one of the weirdest eulogies of all dog funerals. That’s the Nine-Nine for you -- people stepping in to help each other out with their weird problems in weird ways.

While Holt’s out of the precinct on medical leave, Terry takes over running the Nine-Nine. He gets pretty ambitious with a long list of extra projects to get done during the week, as if trying to keep the place from self-destructing isn’t enough of a job. By the end of the week the only thing he’s managed to cross off the list was “Fix the bell” -- which was only added to the list so that people could ring the bell when they finished something on the list. In addition to that, Terry managed to close the door to Holt’s office so frustratedly that he shattered all the glass, and broke the ceiling… Although he’s discouraged by his week of leadership due to his upcoming Lieutenant’s exam, Gina reminds him that Holt never gets any of the tasks on the list done, because he’s just putting out fires around the precinct all day. Leadership in the Nine-Nine is like babysitting a large group of toddlers with firearms.

Because this storyline was quite short due to the amount of episode real estate invested in the mump-saga, we didn’t really get to see how Terry would do as the captain of the precinct. Mostly we just saw his big dreams crushed by the incredible ineptitude of Scully and Hitchcock, and his superhuman strength when he accidentally blew up Holt’s office just by slamming the door. It’s not too much of an issue however, because we’ve seen Terry in a leadership position many a time, and he’s usually very effective. It was nice to see Gina’s support for Terry, because even though we know that she has a great deal of admiration for his physicality, she’s not too big on supporting her fellow Nine-Niners. Having seen what it takes day in and day out to run the precinct through her job as Holt’s assistant, she helps give Terry the confidence he needs to pull it off. Though who knows if he can beat Holt on the lieutenant’s exam…I think the Captain set a pretty high bar for that one…

Line of the week very clearly goes to Holt for this gem about his goiter: “Balthazar is a thirsty bitch.”


What did you think of the episode? Did you think Jake and Holt were going to be able to solve the case? Are you at all surprised that Amy’s up to date on vaccines for things you’ve never heard of? Do you think having a dog is going to soften Rosa at all? And how strong is Terry, exactly? Has anyone considered that he might have superpowers? Let us know below!


About the Author - Kimberly
Kimberly is a big TV nerd - willing to talk any show, any time. Her tastes are various and sundry, but she’s got a soft spot for comedy. She currently writes the SpoilerTV reviews for Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
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