A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
2. Amy: “This has been your lifelong dream and you may not get another chance. I don’t want to be the reason that you don’t win a Nobel.” Sheldon: “You’re the only reason I deserve one.” Amy: “But if your best shot is with them, I think you should take it.” Sheldon: “Is this really what you want me to do?” Amy: “I just want you to be happy.”
3. Siebert: “I hope you know that’s going to cause a fight between us and the Fermilab team.” Sheldon: “If it’s a fight that doesn’t involve any touching, risk of physical harm, or uncomfortable eye contact ‘cause it’s happening online or through intermediaries, I say bring it.” (Dahne)
Bull -
1. Doctor: “You’re in better shape now than in all the time I’ve known you. The problem is not with your heart. The problem’s in your head, said the heart surgeon to the head doctor.”2. Chunk: “I’d stay in that seat if I were you. Finish your drink. You’re not going to be having one of those for a long time.”
3. Doctor: “You like this woman. You trust this woman. Tell her your history. Tell her what you’re feeling and if she’s still interested, then you have nothing to fear.” Bull: “What if you’re wrong?” Doctor: “Well, if I’m wrong, you die but what a way to go.” (Dahne)
1. Marcus: “Brandy’s your girlfriend?” Willie: “Girlfriend? Hell, no, She’s a Nazi, Marcus. That ain’t girlfriend material.”
2. Willie: “What did you do?” Marcus: “I killed someone who deserved it.”
3. Marcus: “The locals all strike the same disaffected front. These are posers from every corner of the globe. The only difference - in this place, the dagger in your back is real.” (Dahne)
Fam -
1. Shannon: "Oh, really? You're always talking about how you've changed, how you're all together now with your fancy job and your young-mom- in-a-mini-van outfits." Clem: "'Young mom'?" Shannon: "Yeah." Clem: "This is cocktail sexy." Shannon: "Oh, sure. Very very sexy. Um, by the way, do you mind if I watch Shrek on your back seat DVD player? Is that okay?" (Mads)
2. Nick: “You know what? I’ll talk to her, even though she does not respond to criticism well. There’s a good chance she’s gonna kill me, hide the body, and my face is gonna end up on the milk carton that she left out.”
3. Rose: “Before I forget, I was going over the guest list for your wedding and there seems to be a mistake. You left your father off.” Clem: “Oh yeah, no, that’s not a mistake. I was just worried that if we invited him, he might actually come.”4. Freddy: “You know in baseball if you hit .300, you’re in the Hall of Fame.” Clem: “And in parenting, if you use the ball pit at Ikea as a babysitter, you get a call from Child Services.” Freddy: “I did get a call. The woman was nice. I took her to Mexico.” (Dahne)
NCIS: Los Angeles -
1. David: “I’m happy, but the thing is, when I spoke to my wife, I realized that my life did have meaning…” Kensi: “Yes.” David: “Whether you recovered the drive or not. And that meaning was our love, my love for my son…” Kensi: “Mmm hmm.” David: “...my father and my mother. Those are the precious gifts and even if I didn’t have them for as long as I hoped, I had them. That’s the important thing. I lived, I loved, and I was loved. What more can I ask from life?” Kensi: “Not much more than that. David?” David: “I’m ready. I’m ready.”2. Deeks: “Some days we put bad guys in jail, right, and those are the good days.” Kensi: “Yeah.” Deeks: “And days like today, the tough days...if you want to help, if you want to do some good in this world…” Kensi: “I should be the one to tell him.” Deeks: “Baby, you’re all he’s got and that means he got pretty lucky today.”
3. David: “I wish something I did or said to Naser would change the way I feel, but all I want in life is to have my son back.” Kensi: “I know.” David: “Putting Naser in jail doesn’t help that.” Kensi: “Yeah, but it might prevent somebody else from getting their son killed.” David: “You do know how to say the right thing.” (Dahne)
NCIS: New Orleans -
1. Pride: “Cassius was a bad man and a worse father, and that’s the best I can say about him. I suffered enough when he was alive. His death should be a relief.” Rita: “Well, it should be but he saved your life.” Pride: “For that, I should forgive him for a lifetime of bad behavior. No, he doesn’t deserve it.” Rita: “He’s gone, Dwayne. It doesn’t matter what he deserves anymore.”2. Pride: “Look, Jimmy, I can’t change the past but even if I could, I wouldn’t. He made a lot of mistakes but giving me a brother was the one thing he got right. We may not have the same last name, but we got the same blood. We’re brothers. Don’t need some piece of paper to make it official. It just is.” Jimmy: “You promise?’ Pride: “Promise.”
3. Pride: “Amelia’s got a dossier on them, a bar code tattooed on her stomach.” Gregorio: “I like that b** so much more now that she’s dead.” (Dahne)
1. Grey: "How close are you supposed to park to a suspect vehicle, Officer Nolan?" John: "Oh.Uh, one car length, more or less. Sorry." [reverses] Grey: "Is this a felony stop now?" John: "No, sir. Sorry. Still probably a little too [Backing up, then forward, then back.] That's it. This is embarrassing. I'm feeling a little nervous." Grey: "Are you happy with your positioning?" John: "I'm - Shouldn't I be? It's non-tactical." Grey: "The engine block should be positioned at an angle just in case we have to take cover behind it." John: "Sir, she's an elderly woman. You don't agree?" Grey: "I think you should plan for the worst." John: "Right." Grey: "But if you're happy with it, fine." (This scene was one of my favorites of the episode. The awkwardness of Nolan trying to park perfectly with Grey judging him and their perfectly timed banter, it was hilarious. - Mads)
2. Tim: "Officer Bishop, do I need to remind you I'm senior officer on scene? Which means I'm in charge. Now, breach that door." [skunk sprays, Tim screams] Talia: "What? What?" Tim: "Aah! Skunk, skunk!" Talia: "Oh hell no!"
3. Zoe: "Officer Chen, you know why I chose to ride with you today?" Lucy: "No, ma'am." Zoe: "Because you impress me. Don't get me wrong. You've got a lot to learn. But I'm proud to have you under my command. And I'd ride with you any day." (Mads)
Single Parents -
1. Poppy: “Oof, co-parenting. Two people trying to walk the same dog with one leash. And I’m sorry for calling your daughter a dog in that metaphor.”2. Poppy: ‘You’re the strongest person I know.” Angie: “Thanks. It’s just...even though I never had a husband, I like to be the person you come to with that stuff.” Poppy: “And you always will be whether I listen to you or not. That’s why we have Girls Night.”
3. Will: “Oh...uh, Sophie, I just remembered I think there’s a bonus birthday clue in the kitchen. Why don’t you go try to find it, okay?” Sophie: “I’ll fall for that but only because I love you.” (Dahne)
Star Trek: Discovery -
1. Tilly: "This is the power of math, people!"
(Tilly and the Discovery crew successfully capture part of an asteroid using a gravity simulator and Tilly is all aflutter. - Katherine Meusey)
2. Stamets: "I need you to repeat after me." Tilly: "Okay." Stamets: "I will say..." Tilly: "I will say." Stamets: "...fewer things." (Awesome quotes from snarky engineer Reno, who has been trapped on the Hiawatha for ten months with various crew members she's kept alive using engineering hacks (we're all basically machines, right?). I hope she stays on Discovery. - Katherine Meusey)
3. Reno: "Huh. What a relief. Thought we were all going to die. Can you get us the hell out of here or what?" (Burnham explains to Reno that the ship, which is trapped in an asteroid, is going to be hit by a pulsar and explode. - Katherine Meusey)
4. Reno: "Evolution's a fickle bitch, am I right?" (I would like this printed on a t-shirt. - Katherine Meusey)
4. Givens: “How about nuclear power? It’s clean and efficient and very safe...until something goes horribly wrong.” (Dahne)
True Detective -
1. Roland West: "We could go to Miss Minnie's." Wayne Hays: "Hell no. I ain't gonna pay for it." Roland West: "It's more honest than most relationships. You didn't get any of that Saigon trim when you were over there?" Wayne Hays: "Guess I'm a romantic." Roland West: "I'm a feminist. If they wanna sell me a piece of ass, they got the right."
2. Alan Jones: "You questioned people during this time, right?" Wayne Hays: "You know another way to do it?"
3. Brett Woodard: "I ain't one of them burnouts. Y'know - come back and start bustin' guys up, gettin' high. And I ain't a bum. I keep a house. I pay my way." Wayne Hays: "Hey, I ain't judgin', man. Look, I punch in and out. I put on a suit in the morning. And to be honest, I don't have much of a life." Brett Woodard: "So why? Why punch in? Why the suit?" Wayne Hays: "I don't ask myself questions like that. Could be I'm too chicken-shit, Mr. Woodard."
4. Roland West: "Do you like kids generally?" Brett Woodard: "Do I-- What the fuck's the right answer to that?" (DarkUFO)
You're the Worst -
1. Gretchen: "I just can't sit down right now. I missed the wedding 'cause I was banging my new toilet. It's a long story. Actually, it's not. I just said the whole thing."
2. Gretchen: "I think I follow too many porn sites." Jimmy: "How many do you follow?" Gretchen: "So many. But I'm paranoid if I cut one, I'm gonna miss out on some really good stuff." Jimmy: "Well, then don't unfollow any." Gretchen: "But every time I pick up my phone, it takes me, like, an hour to scroll through everything. Longer if I get all horned up in the middle." Jimmy: "Yeah, no, actually, it sounds like you're in a terrible dilemma, about which I empathize fully." Gretchen: "Aw, thanks, Jimmy." Jimmy: "You see, I didn't try to fix your problem, I just empathized, like you taught me, like a girl." Gretchen: "I appreciate that. I feel very heard." Jimmy: "Hmm." Gretchen: "Now fix my problem." (Mads)
Young Sheldon -
1. [Meemaw drags Dr
1. [Meemaw drags Dr
2. George: “You’re a good-looking kid and you got a big heart. Once we get you on a daily shower schedule, the girls are gonna be lining up.” Georgie: “I don’t want girls. I want Veronica.” George: “Yeah, maybe you’ll get her and maybe you won’t, but someday, you’ll find the woman who is really meant for you.” Mary: “You mean like Kathryn Dempsey?” George: “Alaska’s beautiful. How about I go with you?”
3. Meemaw: “I didn’t go to college. I was a total screw up in high school. I might not fit in at all.” John: “Don’t be silly. Everyone’s gonna love you and I’m excited to show you off. The general consensus among the faculty is you don’t exist.”4. Givens: “How about nuclear power? It’s clean and efficient and very safe...until something goes horribly wrong.” (Dahne)
